Up in the dorms back in college. We up in the dorms up the hill from the rest of campus drinkin in my boy's room. Flaming dr pepper's made with Devil's Spring 161 proof vodka and shots of 190 proof Everclear got me swervin. A good time was had by all on Madden '92 but the night's over, we heading back down to our dorm to call up some hoes for the night.
I gotta piss... REEEEEEALLY BADLY. I'm talkin loud in the hall like "GODDAMMIT I GOTTA PISS MAH NIGGA!"
We cut through the lounge to get to the elevator, some broad in there washing her dishes in the lounge sink talkin shit about we need to be quiet or she's gonna call the RA on us, then she left.
orly??? And I gotta piss too??? I walked over to that sink, whipped it out and proceeded to open the floodgates on her dishes.
revenge never felt so good.
We hopped the elevator and left the building.
Walking down the hill, bottle of vodka in hand and still swiggin it with my crew and we loud. We walk past the main parking lot and some white boy gets out of his lil Chevy Spectrum, sees us, then makes a point to hit his alarm button.
really son???
We wait until he's out of sight, walk over to his shit and all four of us lift his car and tip it on it's side. When we walked away it rolled over more so now it's partially on the door and roof.
Fuck him.
We get down to our building and we walkin through, still loud as fuck and I gotta take a piss again; you know how liquor and beer do. We walkin down my boy's hallway and some whiteboy sticks his head out the door
"Will you assholes shut the fuck up???!!!"
We look at each other and fall out laughin, 'cause this muhfucka ain't talkin to us like that. He slams his door and I walk up to it and take a gigantic piss aimed right at the crack at the floor. Have fun cleaning up your piss puddle dickhead.
Now we at my boy's room and hittin up hoes tryin to get them to bring their girls through (3am on a saturday? that ain't askin too much). My boy's suitemate comes in through the bathroom on some "can y'all keep it down, I'm trying to sleep!" shits.
One cat laughed at him, one threw a beer can at the wall next to him, and I tild him to take his ass back to Whiteyville with that shit.
About 20 minutes later we heard him leave. My stomach ain't feelin so hot right about now and I know it's only a matter of time before I'm grabbin the toilet seat... But no... This white boy still got me pissed, so I go to the bathroom and check his door... bitch ass forgot to lock it before he left. I staggered to his bed and threw up all over his shit. Threw up on his bed, his desk, all of his shit.
I walked back over to my boy's side sat down, kicked it for a minute and passed out in a chair.
That Monday I read in the campus paper that cops were looking for a rowdy group of hoodlums that urinated on a student's dishes, tipped over a car, urinated on another student's door, and deficated in front of another student's door (I don't remember that shit at all). They figure it was some locals that was visiting a student and several of the dorms had meetings to go over the rules for guests after that.
