scumbag!

[Alpha_Ambition]

dude fucked a crackhead multiple times in a crack house on a dirty mattress tho

[/URL][/img]

LMAO is that Poot from the wire?

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

This is the ultimate letter L. And it's a long one. if you have a text-to-speech program, use it now.

Back in 2005, my mother bought a brand new Nissan Altima. it was dark blue, 2.5 with hubcaps. But the selling point was this thing was brand spanking new. My mom went out of town for a weekend and I just coincidentally popped up at moms house with my refund check from college. So here I am with a brand new car, and about $800 cash in my pocket.

I'm riding around in the hood hood hood part of North Charleston. Let me give you a Google Maps screenshot of how trifling this place is.

^^^ notice the unattended child. Anyway

I pull up to the Habibi store and there's two women talking in the only available parking space. I signal my hand and even smile, they smile back and move out the way. remind you, I'm in a brand new car with a nice knot in my pocket so my swag is on a hundred billion fafillion.

I get back from the store and one of the girls, the sexy one, says "hey nice car. where you headed?"

we get to talking and I tell her I'm trying to get some weed. She says she has a venue as long as I can blow one with her. Luckily I already had a blunt in the stash, & I blew one with her on the way to the "venue." we get to her house, listen to some music, I blew her a shotgun, she kisses me and then we fuck.

I put on my belt and say, "but hold on! What about the herb?" She says "how much you trying to get? I can get you an 8th for 60, I can get you an O for a hundred..."

Like an idiot with crispy hundred dollar bills in my pocket, I said let me get the O. She asks me if I like to 'party.' I say no because it probably ment the chokechain.

Suddenly, her friend from the corner store appears out of nowhere. she gives her a look like let's roll, and I somehow ended up back in my car with these two bitches and we go up the street.

The friend returns from some Trap House and she is empty handed. I look towards her in the backseat and I say "you got the herb?" She says "what herb?" Shorty in the front seat is like, "no that's not the mission she on. Don't worry about that. She came here on another mission."

.... I'm thinking, what the fuck did we come here for? shorty says stop at the corner store. They going the store and I'm thinking about dipping on this bitch. But I can't cuz one of them got a hundred dollars of mine in her pocket!

They come out of the store and overlook some old lady in a long red dress. This bitch look like a real life twizzler, or one long string of beef jerky. shorty looks at the old bitch and says, "hey you straight?" I'm looking at them and it looks like they're doing a transaction... A drug transaction! And I don't think it's marijuana!

Now, all THREE of these bitches are in my car. A putrid smell of wet diapers and death filled the new car. I didn't say anything because I swear to God I couldn't breathe. This is the first time I ever roll the windows down and hit the air conditioning at the same time. we get back to the original Trap House and the old hag disappears. I saw shorty come back in the car with some money in her hands.

Later, she's like let's go back to the second trap house that we was that. I get in there and I was honestly scared for my life. I have never been in a trap house before, not like this one. savages. Cutthroat. there was nothing in this house except for a couch.

... and niggas.

Me and Shorty go in the back, back back, back back back room. On the walk there I'm thinking I'm going to get popped buy one of these niggas. we actually end up having sex again, but this time she seemed like a demon possessed her. No lie, I think this bitch snorted a line before she jumped my bones. Plus this ain't the Hilton. we fucked on a mattress, no head board. no sheets. In a room with no posters and the window is covered by towels.

We leave the back back back room and get into the living room. The most menacing nigga in the trap looks at me and says, " Is this yours?" He's got a small bag of a white substance. I look at him and say, "Oh, Hell no!" Shorty grabs it out of his hand and says, "no that's not his mission. That's my mission right there."

Mission?

In my mind I'm thinking, yo I need a ounce of something right fucking now. but logically, I'm in a drug house surrounded by niggas who do not know me. She looks to me and says, "the Weed Man is going to come around in about 2 hours from now. come back around at 8." Fuck dat. I say, "why don't I just chill here till he comes."

$20,000 car

$700 cash

0 grams of marijuana

Finally, somebody lights up a blunt and I am in position for rotation. I reach for the blunt and one of these niggas says, "you know what that is?" I pass that shit to the next man so quick. then I said "is that, boont?" (crack laced weed) these niggas is gone off that white! now I have to balance out if this 100 dollars is worth me risking life and freedom.

Its way past 8 o'clock now, but short says, "you ready to get this weed? I have to drive though, because this area is fucked up in there trust me if I'm driving." any logical nigga would have said no! my dumbass let's this bitch drive my mother's brand new car.

All of a sudden, she's less and less sexy and more and more thug-like. Damn near Dyke status. If I'm lying I'm flying, this bitch did two more drug "missions" between North Charleston and downtown.

It's raining and she is driving erratically. she almost vears off in the left lane so I grab the steering wheel and jerk her back to the right. Don't you know this bitch pulled over, parked, and punched me in my arm twice.

"you know who you fuckin wit, nigga? Don't do that shit to me! I can drive!"

I'm praying to the Lord please let this night be over. I don't even want the hundred dollars anymore. I just want to go home, to my family.

She pulls over to a gas station because I'm finally on E. "Hey, can you put some gas in this tank?" I say, where's that hundred dollars? "oh, that's gone. Lol."

Now my plan is to get her to go in the store and pay for the gas. I'll just smash out and leave this dyke here. Wrong! She instructs me to pay while she pumps. Now I've had women run scams on me, and even robbed me. I've never been kidnapped by a bitch.

I sit in the passenger seat and she sits down awkward as fuck. She pulls out a brandished pistol covered in a white bath cloth. "What you know about dis life, nigga?"

Oh shit, this bitch got a gun...

... and I donno NOTHING about this life.

Now we're in downtown headed to get the "weed" so to speak. It's fucking 11:45 at night. she's driving down this street that she thought was a two-lane, but it was actually a one lane. A white truck in front of us was making a right turn, but this knucklehead gets to the right of that white truck trying to pass it. all I remember hearing is,

"Oh shit!"

SKERRR--BAM!!!!

We hit a new Chevy Tahoe FULL of white people. I swear to god this bitch took off like Gabby Douglas... from MY side!

I called for a tow truck and then later discovered every single dollar that was in my wallet magically disappeared.

Hol'up Geechee. What part of NaughtyBy were you at? Lol

 

[Melqart]

Did that story come with a house in Virginia or what?

 

[reapin505]

The fuck you carrying $800 in your damn pocket for man?

 

[Negro_Caesar]

The fuck you carrying $800 in your damn pocket for man?

Cause thats usually how ducktales go

 

[geechee slim]

This is the ultimate letter L. And it's a long one. if you have a text-to-speech program, use it now.

Back in 2005, my mother bought a brand new Nissan Altima. it was dark blue, 2.5 with hubcaps. But the selling point was this thing was brand spanking new. My mom went out of town for a weekend and I just coincidentally popped up at moms house with my refund check from college. So here I am with a brand new car, and about $800 cash in my pocket.

I'm riding around in the hood hood hood part of North Charleston. Let me give you a Google Maps screenshot of how trifling this place is.

^^^ notice the unattended child. Anyway

I pull up to the Habibi store and there's two women talking in the only available parking space. I signal my hand and even smile, they smile back and move out the way. remind you, I'm in a brand new car with a nice knot in my pocket so my swag is on a hundred billion fafillion.

I get back from the store and one of the girls, the sexy one, says "hey nice car. where you headed?"

we get to talking and I tell her I'm trying to get some weed. She says she has a venue as long as I can blow one with her. Luckily I already had a blunt in the stash, & I blew one with her on the way to the "venue." we get to her house, listen to some music, I blew her a shotgun, she kisses me and then we fuck.

I put on my belt and say, "but hold on! What about the herb?" She says "how much you trying to get? I can get you an 8th for 60, I can get you an O for a hundred..."

Like an idiot with crispy hundred dollar bills in my pocket, I said let me get the O. She asks me if I like to 'party.' I say no because it probably ment the chokechain.

Suddenly, her friend from the corner store appears out of nowhere. she gives her a look like let's roll, and I somehow ended up back in my car with these two bitches and we go up the street.

The friend returns from some Trap House and she is empty handed. I look towards her in the backseat and I say "you got the herb?" She says "what herb?" Shorty in the front seat is like, "no that's not the mission she on. Don't worry about that. She came here on another mission."

.... I'm thinking, what the fuck did we come here for? shorty says stop at the corner store. They going the store and I'm thinking about dipping on this bitch. But I can't cuz one of them got a hundred dollars of mine in her pocket!

They come out of the store and overlook some old lady in a long red dress. This bitch look like a real life twizzler, or one long string of beef jerky. shorty looks at the old bitch and says, "hey you straight?" I'm looking at them and it looks like they're doing a transaction... A drug transaction! And I don't think it's marijuana!

Now, all THREE of these bitches are in my car. A putrid smell of wet diapers and death filled the new car. I didn't say anything because I swear to God I couldn't breathe. This is the first time I ever roll the windows down and hit the air conditioning at the same time. we get back to the original Trap House and the old hag disappears. I saw shorty come back in the car with some money in her hands.

Later, she's like let's go back to the second trap house that we was that. I get in there and I was honestly scared for my life. I have never been in a trap house before, not like this one. savages. Cutthroat. there was nothing in this house except for a couch.

... and niggas.

Me and Shorty go in the back, back back, back back back room. On the walk there I'm thinking I'm going to get popped buy one of these niggas. we actually end up having sex again, but this time she seemed like a demon possessed her. No lie, I think this bitch snorted a line before she jumped my bones. Plus this ain't the Hilton. we fucked on a mattress, no head board. no sheets. In a room with no posters and the window is covered by towels.

We leave the back back back room and get into the living room. The most menacing nigga in the trap looks at me and says, " Is this yours?" He's got a small bag of a white substance. I look at him and say, "Oh, Hell no!" Shorty grabs it out of his hand and says, "no that's not his mission. That's my mission right there."

Mission?

In my mind I'm thinking, yo I need a ounce of something right fucking now. but logically, I'm in a drug house surrounded by niggas who do not know me. She looks to me and says, "the Weed Man is going to come around in about 2 hours from now. come back around at 8." Fuck dat. I say, "why don't I just chill here till he comes."

$20,000 car

$700 cash

0 grams of marijuana

Finally, somebody lights up a blunt and I am in position for rotation. I reach for the blunt and one of these niggas says, "you know what that is?" I pass that shit to the next man so quick. then I said "is that, boont?" (crack laced weed) these niggas is gone off that white! now I have to balance out if this 100 dollars is worth me risking life and freedom.

Its way past 8 o'clock now, but short says, "you ready to get this weed? I have to drive though, because this area is fucked up in there trust me if I'm driving." any logical nigga would have said no! my dumbass let's this bitch drive my mother's brand new car.

All of a sudden, she's less and less sexy and more and more thug-like. Damn near Dyke status. If I'm lying I'm flying, this bitch did two more drug "missions" between North Charleston and downtown.

It's raining and she is driving erratically. she almost vears off in the left lane so I grab the steering wheel and jerk her back to the right. Don't you know this bitch pulled over, parked, and punched me in my arm twice.

"you know who you fuckin wit, nigga? Don't do that shit to me! I can drive!"

I'm praying to the Lord please let this night be over. I don't even want the hundred dollars anymore. I just want to go home, to my family.

She pulls over to a gas station because I'm finally on E. "Hey, can you put some gas in this tank?" I say, where's that hundred dollars? "oh, that's gone. Lol."

Now my plan is to get her to go in the store and pay for the gas. I'll just smash out and leave this dyke here. Wrong! She instructs me to pay while she pumps. Now I've had women run scams on me, and even robbed me. I've never been kidnapped by a bitch.

I sit in the passenger seat and she sits down awkward as fuck. She pulls out a brandished pistol covered in a white bath cloth. "What you know about dis life, nigga?"

Oh shit, this bitch got a gun...

... and I donno NOTHING about this life.

Now we're in downtown headed to get the "weed" so to speak. It's fucking 11:45 at night. she's driving down this street that she thought was a two-lane, but it was actually a one lane. A white truck in front of us was making a right turn, but this knucklehead gets to the right of that white truck trying to pass it. all I remember hearing is,

"Oh shit!"

SKERRR--BAM!!!!

We hit a new Chevy Tahoe FULL of white people. I swear to god this bitch took off like Gabby Douglas... from MY side!

I called for a tow truck and then later discovered every single dollar that was in my wallet magically disappeared.

Hol'up Geechee. What part of NaughtyBy were you at? Lol

On Rivers Ave by the police station, behind the Carta bus stop.

 

[gns]

you niggas really be rockin babies to sleep and fuckin at the same damn time?

Spoiler

yes

 

[Micmacmar3of3m]

I'm ashamed but I'll live

 

[Micmacmar3of3m]

I'm ashamed but I'll live

 

[MD_PROPER]

She pulls out a brandished pistol covered in a white bath cloth. "What you know about dis life, nigga?"

Oh shit, this bitch got a gun...

... and I donno NOTHING about this life.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

This is the ultimate letter L. And it's a long one. if you have a text-to-speech program, use it now.

Back in 2005, my mother bought a brand new Nissan Altima. it was dark blue, 2.5 with hubcaps. But the selling point was this thing was brand spanking new. My mom went out of town for a weekend and I just coincidentally popped up at moms house with my refund check from college. So here I am with a brand new car, and about $800 cash in my pocket.

I'm riding around in the hood hood hood part of North Charleston. Let me give you a Google Maps screenshot of how trifling this place is.

^^^ notice the unattended child. Anyway

I pull up to the Habibi store and there's two women talking in the only available parking space. I signal my hand and even smile, they smile back and move out the way. remind you, I'm in a brand new car with a nice knot in my pocket so my swag is on a hundred billion fafillion.

I get back from the store and one of the girls, the sexy one, says "hey nice car. where you headed?"

we get to talking and I tell her I'm trying to get some weed. She says she has a venue as long as I can blow one with her. Luckily I already had a blunt in the stash, & I blew one with her on the way to the "venue." we get to her house, listen to some music, I blew her a shotgun, she kisses me and then we fuck.

I put on my belt and say, "but hold on! What about the herb?" She says "how much you trying to get? I can get you an 8th for 60, I can get you an O for a hundred..."

Like an idiot with crispy hundred dollar bills in my pocket, I said let me get the O. She asks me if I like to 'party.' I say no because it probably ment the chokechain.

Suddenly, her friend from the corner store appears out of nowhere. she gives her a look like let's roll, and I somehow ended up back in my car with these two bitches and we go up the street.

The friend returns from some Trap House and she is empty handed. I look towards her in the backseat and I say "you got the herb?" She says "what herb?" Shorty in the front seat is like, "no that's not the mission she on. Don't worry about that. She came here on another mission."

.... I'm thinking, what the fuck did we come here for? shorty says stop at the corner store. They going the store and I'm thinking about dipping on this bitch. But I can't cuz one of them got a hundred dollars of mine in her pocket!

They come out of the store and overlook some old lady in a long red dress. This bitch look like a real life twizzler, or one long string of beef jerky. shorty looks at the old bitch and says, "hey you straight?" I'm looking at them and it looks like they're doing a transaction... A drug transaction! And I don't think it's marijuana!

Now, all THREE of these bitches are in my car. A putrid smell of wet diapers and death filled the new car. I didn't say anything because I swear to God I couldn't breathe. This is the first time I ever roll the windows down and hit the air conditioning at the same time. we get back to the original Trap House and the old hag disappears. I saw shorty come back in the car with some money in her hands.

Later, she's like let's go back to the second trap house that we was that. I get in there and I was honestly scared for my life. I have never been in a trap house before, not like this one. savages. Cutthroat. there was nothing in this house except for a couch.

... and niggas.

Me and Shorty go in the back, back back, back back back room. On the walk there I'm thinking I'm going to get popped buy one of these niggas. we actually end up having sex again, but this time she seemed like a demon possessed her. No lie, I think this bitch snorted a line before she jumped my bones. Plus this ain't the Hilton. we fucked on a mattress, no head board. no sheets. In a room with no posters and the window is covered by towels.

We leave the back back back room and get into the living room. The most menacing nigga in the trap looks at me and says, " Is this yours?" He's got a small bag of a white substance. I look at him and say, "Oh, Hell no!" Shorty grabs it out of his hand and says, "no that's not his mission. That's my mission right there."

Mission?

In my mind I'm thinking, yo I need a ounce of something right fucking now. but logically, I'm in a drug house surrounded by niggas who do not know me. She looks to me and says, "the Weed Man is going to come around in about 2 hours from now. come back around at 8." Fuck dat. I say, "why don't I just chill here till he comes."

$20,000 car

$700 cash

0 grams of marijuana

Finally, somebody lights up a blunt and I am in position for rotation. I reach for the blunt and one of these niggas says, "you know what that is?" I pass that shit to the next man so quick. then I said "is that, boont?" (crack laced weed) these niggas is gone off that white! now I have to balance out if this 100 dollars is worth me risking life and freedom.

Its way past 8 o'clock now, but short says, "you ready to get this weed? I have to drive though, because this area is fucked up in there trust me if I'm driving." any logical nigga would have said no! my dumbass let's this bitch drive my mother's brand new car.

All of a sudden, she's less and less sexy and more and more thug-like. Damn near Dyke status. If I'm lying I'm flying, this bitch did two more drug "missions" between North Charleston and downtown.

It's raining and she is driving erratically. she almost vears off in the left lane so I grab the steering wheel and jerk her back to the right. Don't you know this bitch pulled over, parked, and punched me in my arm twice.

"you know who you fuckin wit, nigga? Don't do that shit to me! I can drive!"

I'm praying to the Lord please let this night be over. I don't even want the hundred dollars anymore. I just want to go home, to my family.

She pulls over to a gas station because I'm finally on E. "Hey, can you put some gas in this tank?" I say, where's that hundred dollars? "oh, that's gone. Lol."

Now my plan is to get her to go in the store and pay for the gas. I'll just smash out and leave this dyke here. Wrong! She instructs me to pay while she pumps. Now I've had women run scams on me, and even robbed me. I've never been kidnapped by a bitch.

I sit in the passenger seat and she sits down awkward as fuck. She pulls out a brandished pistol covered in a white bath cloth. "What you know about dis life, nigga?"

Oh shit, this bitch got a gun...

... and I donno NOTHING about this life.

Now we're in downtown headed to get the "weed" so to speak. It's fucking 11:45 at night. she's driving down this street that she thought was a two-lane, but it was actually a one lane. A white truck in front of us was making a right turn, but this knucklehead gets to the right of that white truck trying to pass it. all I remember hearing is,

"Oh shit!"

SKERRR--BAM!!!!

We hit a new Chevy Tahoe FULL of white people. I swear to god this bitch took off like Gabby Douglas... from MY side!

I called for a tow truck and then later discovered every single dollar that was in my wallet magically disappeared.

Hol'up Geechee. What part of NaughtyBy were you at? Lol

On Rivers Ave by the police station, behind the Carta bus stop.

Lol! Yup. Smack dab in the hood.

 

[dalyricalbandit]

I'm praying to the Lord please let this night be over. I don't even want the hundred dollars anymore. I just want to go home, to my family.

She pulls out a brandished pistol covered in a white bath cloth. "What you know about dis life, nigga?"

Oh shit, this bitch got a gun...

... and I donno NOTHING about this life.

 

[Alpha_Ambition]

Damn breh your story is sad af. You shoulda left the $100 and bounced.

 

[gns]

Damn breh your story is sad af. You shoulda left the $100 and bounced.

Man I read this shit:

Fuck dat. I say, "why don't I just chill here till he comes."

Like

If geechie himself wasn't telling that story I would've swore this was the story of some dumb niggaz last day on earth.

Geechie u lucky as hell negro. I hope yo mom's fucked u up though.

 

[geechee slim]

Damn breh your story is sad af. You shoulda left the $100 and bounced.

Man I read this shit:

Fuck dat. Why don't I just chill here till he comes."

Like

If geechie himself wasn't telling that story I would've swore this was the story of some dumb niggaz last day on earth.

Geechie u lucky as hell negro. I hope yo mom's fucked u up though.

I was asleep and I heard my father talking to my mom walking in.

"Wait a minute, where's your car Hun?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing!... Oh HELL no!"

my door opened and I got hit dozens of times with the thickest Sunday newspaper (Comics, coupons and classifieds included).

"Where's my car?!?"

"I got in a acci--"

I got whipped with that paper so bad. If I was asleep on my back she woulda chopped my chest. She still goes to church. My sister texts me later like, "why is momma praying that she doesn't kill you?" The whole family turned against me that Sunday.

 

[gns]

Damn breh your story is sad af. You shoulda left the $100 and bounced.

Man I read this shit:

Fuck dat. Why don't I just chill here till he comes."

Like

If geechie himself wasn't telling that story I would've swore this was the story of some dumb niggaz last day on earth.

Geechie u lucky as hell negro. I hope yo mom's fucked u up though.

I was asleep and I heard my father talking to my mom walking in.

"Wait a minute, where's your car Hun?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing!... Oh HELL no!"

my door opened and I got hit dozens of times with the thickest Sunday newspaper (Comics, coupons and classifieds included).

"Where's my car?!?"

"I got in a acci--"

I got whipped with that paper so bad. If I was asleep on my back she woulda chopped my chest. She still goes to church. My sister texts me later like, "why is momma praying that she doesn't kill you?" The whole family turned against me that Sunday.

 

[illestni99ainne]

Ok read most of these and damn. So I would see this thread but never entered. Gaaaaaaaaaawddamn where have I been?!? I been missing out! Yall have truly made my day at work entertaining.

My first contribution is myself getting scumbagged. Truly an L on my part but I guess funny for yall.

I was a late bloomer didn't lose my virginity till I was almost 19. My first gf was a sophomore in hs. So we date for like 8 months and come to find out she was fucking other niggas behind my back. Fast forward like 6 months and its my cousins bday and she is throwing a party. Her and my ex hang out sometimes and I hear shes gonna be there. A nigga still in love so I was like I gotta get fresh go there and win her back.

So I put on my fresh karl kani's and go to the party. My cousins boyfriend had got like 2 half gallons of hennessy and I was mad nervous so I figured I better get some liquid courage. Back then I didnt know my limit and proceed to get smashed. By the time my ex gets there I am completely fucked up. I go up to her and was like can I talk to you for a sec. And I guess spit what I thought was the most pimp shit I could think of; I'm sure I sounded retarded as fuck. She's like we'll talk later but hinting like im in there. Im gassed up now and continue drinking like a dummy. That is last I remember I blacked out and from what I was told she invited the new dude she was dealing with over and fuck in my cousins spare room all the while im passed out on the couch.

Ok so end of the night my cousin takes me back to my parents house and leaves me on the porch like ol boy off of house party. And I had to be at work at 6am. Now that im thinking back on that shit can't blame anyone but myself I let that shit happen...still fuck that bitch tho...

 

[geechee slim]

And that's why I don't get drunk around women.

 

[illestni99ainne]

Ok I've posted this before so here yall go after this one I gotta rack up some W's in this bitch cuz deez hoes had a nigga really outta character at times

ok so i apologize in advance for this long read but i think every word is vital to describe this epic L. ok so this one happened in jr high. So I was a straight up nerd in jr high/hs (everybody wasnt that dude in high school my nigga!) Especially in Jr. high my moms was still picking out my clothes and shit had me out there looking crazy. Anyways I used to always get into it with this one cat named Andre. Pretty boy mahfucka with a curly gumby. (I still see his face and want to put a boot in it) He was always cracking jokes on me because I was chubby and was a nerd. So this ether is kinda split in 2 parts. Part 1: I was really feeling this chick named Melia. She was a bad redbone chick, with the fat ass and titties was like pow son! lol I knew her since elementary school, but never had the nerve to step to her because I figured I'd get rejected. I was telling my older brother about it, and he pumped me up telling me I should just go for it all she can say is no or whatever blah blah blah. But I was still too scared to actually walk up to her and say anything. So I figured I would write her a note on some do you like me check here for yes, no or maybe shit right. So during class one day I started to write my note (in hindsight I should have wrote that shit at home) In the note I was telling her how much I was feeling her she was so cute, funny and smart, and would she go to the upcoming school dance with me yada yada blah blah blah. While I'm writing my note, that nigga Andre who sat behind me was looking over my shoulder to see what I was doing. (Should have known that nigga was plotting.) And sees I'm writing the note. After I write the note I'm still scared bcause even though I was able to write how I was feeling and kinda be the man in note form, I was still scared to give it to her so I sat on it for a couple days.

So this nigga Andre in the meantime has tried befriending me on some man we should let bygones be bygones, you actually a cool ass dude. We should hang out and play sega, we bonded on some cheat codes for mortal kombat. So I tell him my plight I was really digging Melia and wanted to be with her. I showed him my note like a dummy. And he's like aw man, thats whats up I really hope you get her man. If you are too shy you should let me give her the note for you because shes in my next class. By this time I'm thinking hes my friend so I was like ok thats real decent of you man. So I give the note to him and tell him to meet me after 5th period english because I knew his class was right next door to mine that period. So After 5th period I meet up with him and he got the biggest smile on his face and hes like man she said yeah and thought that was so nice of you. She told me to give you her number and to call her tonight. Man I was on cloud 9 the rest of the school day. I was no good for the rest of my classes cuz all I could think about was Melia, she was about to be mine, I swear my walk home from school was like this smh...


So I finally work up the nerve to call her and we talk for a couple days. I'm really thinking I'm in there I was nervous but I held my composure. So she says yes to going to the school dance! I was happy as hell g! So my moms takes me to this place called jw (jeans west) and got some knock off cross coulors. I wanted the real thing but moms wasn't about to spend her hard earned money on no $60 jeans. So I compromised with jw. I did have some reebok blacktops though (remember those?) Man I thought was was gonna be the man when I stepped in the dance with my 'fit and Melia on my arm. I was gassed up as hell smh. Now the next issue is I can't dance for shit. I don't know what I was thinking inviting her to a dance anyways. (Yes I do, to get to feel on her booty, get a kiss or at least fangah her in the locker room or something.) My older brother taught me some basic moves so I thought I was set.

So the day of the dance arrives I'm sweating bullets ya'll. It was on a saturday so I had time to get a haircut that day so I'd be as fresh as possible. Melia and I agreed to meet at the school and go from there. So we get in, and again I'm nervous as hell can hardly make eye contact with her. We sit around eachother for a sec, and I guess she got bored of sitting there waiting on me and was like look nigga you wanna dance or what? Me: Oh, um yeah yeah thats cool if you want to. So we go out to the dance floor. And I'll never forget the song it was MC Brains song Oochie Coochie lmfao. So I start whatever dance I was doing not knowing what I was doing because I couldnt pull off the dance moves my brother taught me quite like he could and I swear it was like that scene out of the wood where ol boy first gets to the dance and hes dancing with that chick, and she taps him on his shoulder says I'm tired now and walks away. Thats exactly what she did. I was like oh ok thats cool and I go sit back down. So by now I've sat through like 6 songs. I'm sitting there looking all dejected because she never came to check on me or sit with me at least. My homeboy Jeremiah comes up to me after the next song ends and is like man that nigga Andre in there dancing with your girl man. By this time a slow song has come on (boy's 2 men's ill make love to you) and hes like feeling all on her butt. So by now I'm hurt. I use a payphone and call my pops and he comes to pick me up. I go home crushed.

So monday comes, gotta go back to school. By 1st period I've already heard Melia and Andre are the new "it" couple. I have Melia in my 4th period class but I don't say shit to her the entire time (Yeah, that'll teach her!) And I go back in my little shell for the next couple days. Ok so here's ether #2: Ok a couple weeks have gone by and by now I'm pissed at Melia and that nigga Andre fuck that nigga for doing that shit to me! That upcoming friday was a pep rally for the basketball team, they had a game that saturday. So I go to the pep rally and sit alone on the bleachers This nigga Andre is a couple bleachers above me and sees me and starts cracking jokes Whenever I think of this sometimes he sound like Pac when he said: Thats why I took yo bitch you fat muthafucka! lol By now I've lost it and I can't really remember what I said but I guess I did get the best of him with a joke and everybody started laughing. Oh so now I've hurt his manhood and he wants to fight. I'm like cool I've had enough of being picked on, besides I was a little bigger than him, I thought I could take him right? WRONG! We meet up afterschool down the street where we knew we wouldnt get in trouble for fighting. This nigga proceeds to beat my ass. I walk home with a busted nose and a black eye. By this time its like 4:30 school lets out at 2:45. My dad has been looking all over for me. I was supposed to pick up my little brother from school when he got out and walk home with him. So to top it all off I get in trouble for that. This my friends imho is the epitome of my soul burning slow...

 

[Snatch Some Collars]

Ok I've posted this before so here yall go after this one I gotta rack up some W's in this bitch cuz deez hoes had a nigga really outta character at times

ok so i apologize in advance for this long read but i think every word is vital to describe this epic L. ok so this one happened in jr high. So I was a straight up nerd in jr high/hs (everybody wasnt that dude in high school my nigga!) Especially in Jr. high my moms was still picking out my clothes and shit had me out there looking crazy. Anyways I used to always get into it with this one cat named Andre. Pretty boy mahfucka with a curly gumby. (I still see his face and want to put a boot in it) He was always cracking jokes on me because I was chubby and was a nerd. So this ether is kinda split in 2 parts. Part 1: I was really feeling this chick named Melia. She was a bad redbone chick, with the fat ass and titties was like pow son! lol I knew her since elementary school, but never had the nerve to step to her because I figured I'd get rejected. I was telling my older brother about it, and he pumped me up telling me I should just go for it all she can say is no or whatever blah blah blah. But I was still too scared to actually walk up to her and say anything. So I figured I would write her a note on some do you like me check here for yes, no or maybe shit right. So during class one day I started to write my note (in hindsight I should have wrote that shit at home) In the note I was telling her how much I was feeling her she was so cute, funny and smart, and would she go to the upcoming school dance with me yada yada blah blah blah. While I'm writing my note, that nigga Andre who sat behind me was looking over my shoulder to see what I was doing. (Should have known that nigga was plotting.) And sees I'm writing the note. After I write the note I'm still scared bcause even though I was able to write how I was feeling and kinda be the man in note form, I was still scared to give it to her so I sat on it for a couple days.

So this nigga Andre in the meantime has tried befriending me on some man we should let bygones be bygones, you actually a cool ass dude. We should hang out and play sega, we bonded on some cheat codes for mortal kombat. So I tell him my plight I was really digging Melia and wanted to be with her. I showed him my note like a dummy. And he's like aw man, thats whats up I really hope you get her man. If you are too shy you should let me give her the note for you because shes in my next class. By this time I'm thinking hes my friend so I was like ok thats real decent of you man. So I give the note to him and tell him to meet me after 5th period english because I knew his class was right next door to mine that period. So After 5th period I meet up with him and he got the biggest smile on his face and hes like man she said yeah and thought that was so nice of you. She told me to give you her number and to call her tonight. Man I was on cloud 9 the rest of the school day. I was no good for the rest of my classes cuz all I could think about was Melia, she was about to be mine, I swear my walk home from school was like this smh...


So I finally work up the nerve to call her and we talk for a couple days. I'm really thinking I'm in there I was nervous but I held my composure. So she says yes to going to the school dance! I was happy as hell g! So my moms takes me to this place called jw (jeans west) and got some knock off cross coulors. I wanted the real thing but moms wasn't about to spend her hard earned money on no $60 jeans. So I compromised with jw. I did have some reebok blacktops though (remember those?) Man I thought was was gonna be the man when I stepped in the dance with my 'fit and Melia on my arm. I was gassed up as hell smh. Now the next issue is I can't dance for shit. I don't know what I was thinking inviting her to a dance anyways. (Yes I do, to get to feel on her booty, get a kiss or at least fangah her in the locker room or something.) My older brother taught me some basic moves so I thought I was set.

So the day of the dance arrives I'm sweating bullets ya'll. It was on a saturday so I had time to get a haircut that day so I'd be as fresh as possible. Melia and I agreed to meet at the school and go from there. So we get in, and again I'm nervous as hell can hardly make eye contact with her. We sit around eachother for a sec, and I guess she got bored of sitting there waiting on me and was like look nigga you wanna dance or what? Me: Oh, um yeah yeah thats cool if you want to. So we go out to the dance floor. And I'll never forget the song it was MC Brains song Oochie Coochie lmfao. So I start whatever dance I was doing not knowing what I was doing because I couldnt pull off the dance moves my brother taught me quite like he could and I swear it was like that scene out of the wood where ol boy first gets to the dance and hes dancing with that chick, and she taps him on his shoulder says I'm tired now and walks away. Thats exactly what she did. I was like oh ok thats cool and I go sit back down. So by now I've sat through like 6 songs. I'm sitting there looking all dejected because she never came to check on me or sit with me at least. My homeboy Jeremiah comes up to me after the next song ends and is like man that nigga Andre in there dancing with your girl man. By this time a slow song has come on (boy's 2 men's ill make love to you) and hes like feeling all on her butt. So by now I'm hurt. I use a payphone and call my pops and he comes to pick me up. I go home crushed.

So monday comes, gotta go back to school. By 1st period I've already heard Melia and Andre are the new "it" couple. I have Melia in my 4th period class but I don't say shit to her the entire time (Yeah, that'll teach her!) And I go back in my little shell for the next couple days. Ok so here's ether #2: Ok a couple weeks have gone by and by now I'm pissed at Melia and that nigga Andre fuck that nigga for doing that shit to me! That upcoming friday was a pep rally for the basketball team, they had a game that saturday. So I go to the pep rally and sit alone on the bleachers This nigga Andre is a couple bleachers above me and sees me and starts cracking jokes Whenever I think of this sometimes he sound like Pac when he said: Thats why I took yo bitch you fat muthafucka! lol By now I've lost it and I can't really remember what I said but I guess I did get the best of him with a joke and everybody started laughing. Oh so now I've hurt his manhood and he wants to fight. I'm like cool I've had enough of being picked on, besides I was a little bigger than him, I thought I could take him right? WRONG! We meet up afterschool down the street where we knew we wouldnt get in trouble for fighting. This nigga proceeds to beat my ass. I walk home with a busted nose and a black eye. By this time its like 4:30 school lets out at 2:45. My dad has been looking all over for me. I was supposed to pick up my little brother from school when he got out and walk home with him. So to top it all off I get in trouble for that. This my friends imho is the epitome of my soul burning slow...