supaman4321;592996 said:just some random bars no real direction just spittin, fell off at one point kinda but i think i brought it back together
I propose a plan to get shit back on the right track
Cuz you Motorola flowers got the game movin back
Words worth a billion, dollars or pictures
With the imagery of a van Gogh, distributed to highest bidders
I’m sorta after ya livers, spleens, hearts, and grey matter
Total possession, nowhere to run nowhere to hide
Glide above you slow coasters with no drive
No direction, better get ya garmin on
Better get ya garments on cuz I hear it’s cold when the summer’s gone
Cold when the suns out, cold when the leave fall
Cold when the leaves freeze, cold when the leaves thaw
Just call me Mr. consistent
Voted best ever by the general consensus
Is the goal that I’m after, and until I’ve achieved
I guarentee I hitchu with nothing but heat
Like roger clemens, or more like the terminator
No matter, flow’s sick I am the germinator
You lilly white flowers can get ya petals ripped
Snipped, in ctrl in the clutch you just wanna shift
I just light splifs, burn trees then the ink drips
On the composition book in my brain, no margin
Refrains the lines from goin outside the box
Better yet cranium, lyrical shots to ya pride
Used to be Puffed, I’m drainin em
With a little Ditty, no riddles or middle men
Titanium tight bars got the crowd yellin “Finish Him”
No mortal kombat, but if thou Shao Kahn
Yourself into thinking you’re hot, I drop bombs
Niggas not ready for Nagasaki, no shelter
All fallout, no survivors, all the infamy of the day after
constructive criticism is of course welcome
The bolded lines are pretty nice imo. That Shao Kahn line was funny and well placed. You had a lot of filler in this verse but I think it was still solid nonetheless. Your delivery was nice, your flow was a bit choppy imo, and a lot of your metaphors feel like they've been taken out of the Rap Bars 101 syllabus. I would like to see your next drop be a more topical piece where you can utilize your story telling abilities. A lot of you guys are relatively new here, so I'd like to establish some kind of constant for ya'll abilities so that I can offer a more precise critique for ya'll.
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