One liners that were so CRAZY/STUPID/IGNORANT that you were even surprised they worked...

[Kat]

"Girl, if my backyard had a swing like that, I'd put a fence around it!" Usually got a nice response.

Lol...points for originality.

 

[HafBayked]

"This dick tall tho"

No. It's probably proportioned to your body size.

 

[Rum Middleton]

This was like 12 yrs ago, I was choppin it up wit this older chick my Pops knew, flirting a little, I didn't think I was gonna get the draws cause she hit me wit

"The apple doesn't fall far from tree huh?" to which I replied.....

"Unless that tree is on a hill, then them apples'll roll, girl."

 

[blackamerica]

Real talk when I was about 20-21 I was in the mall with some homies lookin 4 bitches to bag. Seen this thick yella bitch, tatted up, real pretty but looked like she had a little attitude (I love the stuck up bitches). She walks in the store I follow behind her and holla like "what's good my name is". I told her she was bad & asked 4 tha digits. She say some slick azz shit like "Ok, you gon buy me a outfit first". I say "are you serious"? She says "yeah". I looked, turned around and walked right out that fuckin store my nigga. This bitch must've felt some way because she runs out the store and apologizes for coming at me like that.

Ended up getting tha# and fuckin tha bitch on the floor of her apartment a few days later. Till this day I can't recreate that luck lol

 

[_Lefty]

"Girl, if my backyard had a swing like that, I'd put a fence around it!" Usually got a nice response.

Sound like the old uncle at the family reunion that low key stare at the lil cousins. Everybody had the older homie with the big van that looked like a house on the inside. I immediately pictured that nigga when I read that. Nigga got the herringbone wit the money clip to match. He don't say wassup, he be like "alright now" when he see niggas haha. Na i'm fuckin wit you bruh. That shit took me back.

 

[blakfyahking]

I like to go up to tall women and tell them I can toss them in the air

they get wet when they actually get the opportunity to look up at a man, vs down

 

[StillFaggyAF]

"This dick tall tho"

No. It's probably proportioned to your body size.

That's my line word to asap ferg

short nigga but my dick tall, thats what i told you bitch dog

 

[Jao]

my white homie was at a college party and walked up to a drunk girl outside who was sittin on the ground and said "hey don't u know that's how u get hemorrhoids?".. he said that next thing he knew he woke up in her bed.. jacked her last cigarette and left while she was still sleepin ctfu..

swear initiating conversation is half the battle sometimes

 

[yellowtapesport]

'Hate to see you go...but I love to watch you leave.'

Still get a smile or two from that

 

[GodSpeed215]

You so beautiful it made me completely forget my normal pick up line

 

[Trollio]

"wanna cuddle"

 

[MallyG]

Outside the club when it was drizzlin'.... "Aye suga.... Have u ever thought bout ME... Boning YOU.... In ya ass, In da rain!!" #howtobeaplayerreference

My homeboys start rollin' (and so are several other people) and she couldn't do nothin' but laugh @ da shit. Got her number inside. This back when I didn't give a solitary phuck what I said to bish. lol

 

[HarlemThumzUp]

Outside the club when it was drizzlin'.... "Aye suga.... Have u ever thought bout ME... Boning YOU.... In ya ass, In da rain!!" #howtobeaplayerreference



My homeboys start rollin' (and so are several other people) and she couldn't do nothin' but laugh @ da shit. Got her number inside. This back when I didn't give a solitary phuck what I said to bish. lol

GOAT MOVIE!!

 

[Shizlansky]

Ppl say this is stupid but this use to work for me back in my single days.

How you doing? My name is Dwayne and nice meet you.

Shrugs.

 

[Max.]

"I'm 6'4,mixed n got tattoos"

 

[Lou Cypher]

I used to get drunk and use the polar bear line all the time on chicks. Before it was in movies. Hilarious.

The "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, im louis."

Then like a year later i saw it in that movie Hall pass then i was like awwwww... end of an era,.

 

[damobb2deep]

*walks up behind a chick in the club to dance when she turns around for the obligatory glance*

I say: Keep your head straight and just go with it, keep dancing and make no sudden movements and you'll be ok.

It prolly worked cause she was scared you was gonna rob her..

 

[Will Munny]

on tinder I used to say "I haven't shaved my pubes in a while, I'm not sure if I should shave or not, can I get your opinion?"

the next response is always their snapchat handle

 

[Noble Al Lee]

With the most serious face i can put on... "Youve been chosen. No questions. No banter. No doubts. I need you right now and youve been blessed." *extends hand palm up in a gentlemanly manner*

 

[Kat]

on tinder I used to say "I haven't shaved my pubes in a while, I'm not sure if I should shave or not, can I get your opinion?"

the next response is always their snapchat handle

You were probably talking to old men.