black caesar
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Friends: A bad bitch has a close knit group of friends who she can count on to be real with her. The inner circle is tight, like her game and her Rag & Bone jeans. She has both male and female friends, so if you’re the jealous type be prepared to deal or be on the receiving end of a bad bitch scissor kick out the door. She is not a boys-only type of girl. In fact she thinks there has to be something psychologically wrong with women who can’t get along with other women. Were they raised by wolves? Apes? In a terrarium in a lab? A bad bitch also thinks it’s sad when friends try compete with one another. Especially since there is clearly no competition when she is around. Squirrels drop gold medals at her feet when she passes under trees, and random people smile at her. She isn’t a people pleaser, and doesn’t understand people who are friends with everyone. A bad bitch doesn’t care to talk shit about people because she is above that. Talking shit about someone to a bad bitch will only result in this:
Jobs: A bad bitch is career oriented. She is not waiting for some rich prince to come along, but rather she aspires to be a boss herself, and you’re going to have to understand that her career is her top priority. After being naturally bad, of course. She is open-minded and driven, but not so much that she can’t kick back at the end of the day and chill with her colleagues over a few beers. She’ll order a Blue Moon, hold the orange, and will sip it at the perfect pace. Aaah.
Food: A bad bitch is not afraid to try new things. If the restaurant is offering roast duck with truffle as a special, her curiosity will be piqued. She’s not afraid of new experiences. She is always herself, no matter who she is around, which means she eats whenever she wants. She’ll only eat a salad if it’s good, not because it’s healthy and she wants to be skinny. A bad bitch NEVER yucks anyones yum, and you already know she can cook. A bad bitch can turn into Betty Crocker in seconds. She’ll whip up a five course meal like it’s nothing.
Hobbies: A bad bitch is never bored, because only boring people are bored. She is interested in what’s going on in the world – not just lol cat memes. She reads, and guess what? If you don’t, you are not going to be fucking that bad bitch who does. A bad bitch would never pretend to know about sports, if she’s into something she into it but not to impress you. And if you make a good case for why she should follow your team, she’ll give it consideration. A bad bitch knows how to chill, whether they smoke weed or not, but many do. A bad bitch is into whatever she’s into, be it skateboarding, jazz or visiting galleries. Point is, she has interests that aren’t Bravo shows. She’ll want to do more than vegetate on the couch during the weekend, so up your game if you want a bad bitch to stick around.
Social Media: A bad bitch doesn’t spam your feed with irrelevance. She is FUNNY and doesn’t take herself too seriously. She knows what wit is and has it. A bad bitch would NEVER block anyone who pokes fun at her but embraces their humor. Remember, a bad bitch can make fun of herself as well. Naturally, a bad bitch does not post “typical” or “basic” things such as quotes or constant selfies. Or duck faces or cuddly creatures or any of that bull. A bad bitch will take pictures of things on Instagram other than herself (nature, food, exotic places). In fact, she’ll post a picture that you’ll like because it’s cool, not because you’re trying to hit it. She will retweet interesting articles on Twitter, or post about something that actually makes you stop and think. She is also supportive to her friends and their organizations, blogs, or start-ups via social media. She understands that the purpose of these channels is not to air her drama or seek your sympathy.
Texting: A bad bitch rarely initiates text messages. She may take some time to respond, but this is not because she’s rude or trying to play hard to get. She’s just BUSY living her LIFE and not checking her phone every second. If she likes you, she’ll appreciate a phone call. It will show her that you are confident and intelligent enough to have a real conversation and are actually interested in what’s going on her life.
Jealousy/Cheating: The biggest mistake you can ever make is cheating on a bad bitch. A bad bitch doesn’t cheat, but rather, leaves if she is unhappy, and leaves in glorious fashion. She will never try to make you jealous and she doesn’t go through your phone in a fit of insecurity. As Rhode Scholar Gudda Gudda once said, ”She don’t ever wonder, cause she knows she’s bad.”
Intimacy: Typically, a bad bitch can be difficult to get close to. Her former non-bad self has made mistakes and she’s learned in the process. But a bad bitch isn’t afraid to take the lead in the bedroom but not in a ‘porn-inspired-me-I’m-trying-to-impress-you’ kind of way. No porn tongue, word to Julia Gulia. She’ll let you take control if you’re capable, but you’d better do her right. If you’re dating a bad bitch, don’t expect her to say “I love you” first, because she takes that pretty seriously. But most importantly, a bad bitch will only date smart and interesting guys with a decent sense of humor – NO basics bros or bro-dinary dudes allowed.
Music: A bad bitch has the baddest taste in music. She’s not embarrassed to get down to degrading rap music, or to listen to some sad jawns. A bad bitch is never a music snob, and her friends look to her for song guidance. She doesn’t follow trends, unless the trend is being bad all the fucking time.
Top 5 Bad Bitches:
1. Beyonce
2. Scarlet Johansson
3. Rihanna
4. Gisele Bunchen
5. Halle Berry (or Hallelujah)
Bad Bitch Honorable Mentions
1. Solange
2. Kelly Rowland
3. Topanga from “Boy Meets World”
5. J. Lo
6. Any Destiny’s Child song
7. Lily Aldridge
8. Cara DeLevingne
Jobs: A bad bitch is career oriented. She is not waiting for some rich prince to come along, but rather she aspires to be a boss herself, and you’re going to have to understand that her career is her top priority. After being naturally bad, of course. She is open-minded and driven, but not so much that she can’t kick back at the end of the day and chill with her colleagues over a few beers. She’ll order a Blue Moon, hold the orange, and will sip it at the perfect pace. Aaah.
Food: A bad bitch is not afraid to try new things. If the restaurant is offering roast duck with truffle as a special, her curiosity will be piqued. She’s not afraid of new experiences. She is always herself, no matter who she is around, which means she eats whenever she wants. She’ll only eat a salad if it’s good, not because it’s healthy and she wants to be skinny. A bad bitch NEVER yucks anyones yum, and you already know she can cook. A bad bitch can turn into Betty Crocker in seconds. She’ll whip up a five course meal like it’s nothing.
Hobbies: A bad bitch is never bored, because only boring people are bored. She is interested in what’s going on in the world – not just lol cat memes. She reads, and guess what? If you don’t, you are not going to be fucking that bad bitch who does. A bad bitch would never pretend to know about sports, if she’s into something she into it but not to impress you. And if you make a good case for why she should follow your team, she’ll give it consideration. A bad bitch knows how to chill, whether they smoke weed or not, but many do. A bad bitch is into whatever she’s into, be it skateboarding, jazz or visiting galleries. Point is, she has interests that aren’t Bravo shows. She’ll want to do more than vegetate on the couch during the weekend, so up your game if you want a bad bitch to stick around.
Social Media: A bad bitch doesn’t spam your feed with irrelevance. She is FUNNY and doesn’t take herself too seriously. She knows what wit is and has it. A bad bitch would NEVER block anyone who pokes fun at her but embraces their humor. Remember, a bad bitch can make fun of herself as well. Naturally, a bad bitch does not post “typical” or “basic” things such as quotes or constant selfies. Or duck faces or cuddly creatures or any of that bull. A bad bitch will take pictures of things on Instagram other than herself (nature, food, exotic places). In fact, she’ll post a picture that you’ll like because it’s cool, not because you’re trying to hit it. She will retweet interesting articles on Twitter, or post about something that actually makes you stop and think. She is also supportive to her friends and their organizations, blogs, or start-ups via social media. She understands that the purpose of these channels is not to air her drama or seek your sympathy.
Texting: A bad bitch rarely initiates text messages. She may take some time to respond, but this is not because she’s rude or trying to play hard to get. She’s just BUSY living her LIFE and not checking her phone every second. If she likes you, she’ll appreciate a phone call. It will show her that you are confident and intelligent enough to have a real conversation and are actually interested in what’s going on her life.
Jealousy/Cheating: The biggest mistake you can ever make is cheating on a bad bitch. A bad bitch doesn’t cheat, but rather, leaves if she is unhappy, and leaves in glorious fashion. She will never try to make you jealous and she doesn’t go through your phone in a fit of insecurity. As Rhode Scholar Gudda Gudda once said, ”She don’t ever wonder, cause she knows she’s bad.”
Intimacy: Typically, a bad bitch can be difficult to get close to. Her former non-bad self has made mistakes and she’s learned in the process. But a bad bitch isn’t afraid to take the lead in the bedroom but not in a ‘porn-inspired-me-I’m-trying-to-impress-you’ kind of way. No porn tongue, word to Julia Gulia. She’ll let you take control if you’re capable, but you’d better do her right. If you’re dating a bad bitch, don’t expect her to say “I love you” first, because she takes that pretty seriously. But most importantly, a bad bitch will only date smart and interesting guys with a decent sense of humor – NO basics bros or bro-dinary dudes allowed.
Music: A bad bitch has the baddest taste in music. She’s not embarrassed to get down to degrading rap music, or to listen to some sad jawns. A bad bitch is never a music snob, and her friends look to her for song guidance. She doesn’t follow trends, unless the trend is being bad all the fucking time.
Top 5 Bad Bitches:
1. Beyonce
2. Scarlet Johansson
3. Rihanna
4. Gisele Bunchen
5. Halle Berry (or Hallelujah)
Bad Bitch Honorable Mentions
1. Solange
2. Kelly Rowland
3. Topanga from “Boy Meets World”
5. J. Lo
6. Any Destiny’s Child song
7. Lily Aldridge
8. Cara DeLevingne
