- Status
raw-material_ahh
New member
love yal;1928797 said:
She still has a little over 5 days to drop her verse lol. She can take all the time she wants. Be patient, she is active, she will drop and voting will begin before you know it. Good luck.
Last edited:
thedesolateone
New member
love yal;1928766 said:
its need work but i also see a lot of potential.i dont reall wanna dissect it till tupac posts her verse
Last edited:
C.Melendez
New member
love yal;1928771 said:
i seen yourkind b4 lol...set up verse right?
Last edited:
Fuck a first, your verse came off rehearsed, wait…let’s reverse your freestyles been wack
Far into dispersed, like a fetus in ya mama’s stretched out uterus, yea that sounds a bit too disturbed.
You ain’t modest, not even hottest, you’s the softest
Still smoking on Cali’s chronic so I’mma spit like I just ripped off your dome.
Take your lyrical soul out with the style of Al Capone,
I’ kill your verbs with my lips that bust like my gat 9mm pistol chrome.
Slugs like you are gonna get them brains split, I’ll send your ass to your grave stone!
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs..
You’s a virgin to the battle and I just raped you with my pen leaving you lyrically hurt,
See you's a smirk, you need more than work, I knew you was a geek with a quirk, that’s soon about to get murked.
You stay revert on some ice cold dirt, I’m sucka repellent,
You can’t fuck with me; I’ll bust ya liver with 4, 5, or 6 shots with my glock,
Leave you with a flat line that your life flashed before the clock ticked tock,
A fallen victim to tupacfan’s south side phoenix block, now its closed caskets that’s been locked,
Let your soul rot and I’ll still be kicking you rocks, you just been stomped with my lyrical ammunition from a poetical position, fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…
Let the voting began......
Far into dispersed, like a fetus in ya mama’s stretched out uterus, yea that sounds a bit too disturbed.
You ain’t modest, not even hottest, you’s the softest
Still smoking on Cali’s chronic so I’mma spit like I just ripped off your dome.
Take your lyrical soul out with the style of Al Capone,
I’ kill your verbs with my lips that bust like my gat 9mm pistol chrome.
Slugs like you are gonna get them brains split, I’ll send your ass to your grave stone!
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs..
You’s a virgin to the battle and I just raped you with my pen leaving you lyrically hurt,
See you's a smirk, you need more than work, I knew you was a geek with a quirk, that’s soon about to get murked.
You stay revert on some ice cold dirt, I’m sucka repellent,
You can’t fuck with me; I’ll bust ya liver with 4, 5, or 6 shots with my glock,
Leave you with a flat line that your life flashed before the clock ticked tock,
A fallen victim to tupacfan’s south side phoenix block, now its closed caskets that’s been locked,
Let your soul rot and I’ll still be kicking you rocks, you just been stomped with my lyrical ammunition from a poetical position, fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…
Let the voting began......
Last edited:
Rocket Kidd
New member
i vote for tupacfan for this reason:
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs..
You’s a virgin to the battle and I just raped you with my pen leaving you lyrically hurt,
See you's a smirk, you need more than work, I knew you was a geek with a quirk, that’s soon about to get murked
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs..
You’s a virgin to the battle and I just raped you with my pen leaving you lyrically hurt,
See you's a smirk, you need more than work, I knew you was a geek with a quirk, that’s soon about to get murked
Last edited:
raw-material_ahh
New member
I'm just going to comment on a few of y'all's lines.
love yal
Forgive all my sins, your not a new car, so suspect to lose
Your probly beauiful, in verse your probly lose screws
Weird opener. I get it though. I didn't think it hit real hard though.
If your lines are bipolar, the rest of your education on battling must be biopolar two
I think you should have worded it differently instead of using bipolar twice in the same line.
Just get some medicine, you'll feel better than arriving as maternity blues
All family protected, nothing too serious, if your bars got schizophrenia, your love has selective attention
This is a perfect example of a kind of sick line but it really has nothing to do with battling. It doesn't make me say "Ohh man!" It's like Lupe Fiasco TRYING to diss someone but he doesn't get the point. Maybe if you would've said something like "This fake ass spits 'schizophrenic bars', distortions of your reality/" I'm not trying to teach you how to write but I'm just saying this line calls him fake and talks about how he spits fake shit, basically battling him and your line wasn't really hitting in my opinion.
Tupac fan probly had trouble typing her lines must be obsessive compulsive disorder, as she's flowing
Repeated wanted to know what love yal is flowing, not somatoform growing
You a psychology major?
Tupac fan has been on this site longer than love yal, is was disturbed communication
My bad man but I don't see the connection between tupac fan being a member longer and "disturbed communication"
tupacfan
Far into dispersed, like a fetus in ya mama’s stretched out uterus, yea that sounds a bit too disturbed.
You ain’t modest, not even hottest, you’s the softest
Thought the first line was eh and the second even more eh. Lol.
Still smoking on Cali’s chronic so I’mma spit like I just ripped off your dome.
IDK why I like this line.
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
LOL!! This made me laugh.
fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…
My bad but I didn't read this line BC there is a 16 line limit! Lol.
Okay, I felt love yal had a lot of filler and every line that was a jab wasn't hitting as strong as tupacfan's were. BUT tupacfan also had weak lines. Neither person had any standout lines for me so the difference to me was who's lines made more sense, who's hit stronger, and who's were more battle orientated. I feel both had ill ideas but love yal's use of metaphors didn't translate into harder punches than tupacfan's did. With that said, whoever moves on, I hope they focus more on dissing the other person than using filler. Good luck.
Vote - tupacfan
love yal
Forgive all my sins, your not a new car, so suspect to lose
Your probly beauiful, in verse your probly lose screws
Weird opener. I get it though. I didn't think it hit real hard though.
If your lines are bipolar, the rest of your education on battling must be biopolar two
I think you should have worded it differently instead of using bipolar twice in the same line.
Just get some medicine, you'll feel better than arriving as maternity blues
All family protected, nothing too serious, if your bars got schizophrenia, your love has selective attention
This is a perfect example of a kind of sick line but it really has nothing to do with battling. It doesn't make me say "Ohh man!" It's like Lupe Fiasco TRYING to diss someone but he doesn't get the point. Maybe if you would've said something like "This fake ass spits 'schizophrenic bars', distortions of your reality/" I'm not trying to teach you how to write but I'm just saying this line calls him fake and talks about how he spits fake shit, basically battling him and your line wasn't really hitting in my opinion.
Tupac fan probly had trouble typing her lines must be obsessive compulsive disorder, as she's flowing
Repeated wanted to know what love yal is flowing, not somatoform growing
You a psychology major?
Tupac fan has been on this site longer than love yal, is was disturbed communication
My bad man but I don't see the connection between tupac fan being a member longer and "disturbed communication"
tupacfan
Far into dispersed, like a fetus in ya mama’s stretched out uterus, yea that sounds a bit too disturbed.
You ain’t modest, not even hottest, you’s the softest
Thought the first line was eh and the second even more eh. Lol.
Still smoking on Cali’s chronic so I’mma spit like I just ripped off your dome.
IDK why I like this line.
Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan.
LOL!! This made me laugh.
fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…
My bad but I didn't read this line BC there is a 16 line limit! Lol.
Okay, I felt love yal had a lot of filler and every line that was a jab wasn't hitting as strong as tupacfan's were. BUT tupacfan also had weak lines. Neither person had any standout lines for me so the difference to me was who's lines made more sense, who's hit stronger, and who's were more battle orientated. I feel both had ill ideas but love yal's use of metaphors didn't translate into harder punches than tupacfan's did. With that said, whoever moves on, I hope they focus more on dissing the other person than using filler. Good luck.
Vote - tupacfan
Last edited:
thedesolateone
New member
i vote for tupac because she was more clear and i could understand her lines better than love yal.i felt love yal really had some strong lines but they were not as articulate as tupac.props to love yal for taking a battle on shorter notice having some heat and coming with that mental health style/swag but i think if it was executed better then i could of gave you the w.lines like:Love all your lines, tupac must be your fan like biggie issue I thought you were Faith Evans... i think could of been easily worded better
Version on battling psychopathology you came nice, like a mental disorder emotions again could of been worded better.love yal had some good multis but didnt seem to tye them together as well as tupac
and its tough going first so if you do you gotta come even harder and try to be hard to reverse.tupacfan came with multies and creativity like:Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan. who thinks up shit like that?i felt tupacfans line of:Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs.. really hit home.closed caskets thats been locked?i guess dead is dead and :Let your soul rot and I’ll still be kicking you rocks, you just been stomped with my lyrical ammunition from a poetical position, fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…well got damn like i said rebuttals hold an advantage and i think tupac gave what was needed to win and a lil more.my vote is for tupac for better rhyme patterns and understandability
Version on battling psychopathology you came nice, like a mental disorder emotions again could of been worded better.love yal had some good multis but didnt seem to tye them together as well as tupac
and its tough going first so if you do you gotta come even harder and try to be hard to reverse.tupacfan came with multies and creativity like:Love yal, screaming with a bitch tone, this sucka been a closet kat since he heard his brother’s masturbate moan. who thinks up shit like that?i felt tupacfans line of:Love yal, your bars is far worst than my life’s cursed, shit screams slurs softer than a pussy cats purrs.. really hit home.closed caskets thats been locked?i guess dead is dead and :Let your soul rot and I’ll still be kicking you rocks, you just been stomped with my lyrical ammunition from a poetical position, fuck your freestyle addiction, pacfan’s on a mission, leaving kats feeling empty like the U.S. recession, precluding you before you need Dr. Phil’s intervention…well got damn like i said rebuttals hold an advantage and i think tupac gave what was needed to win and a lil more.my vote is for tupac for better rhyme patterns and understandability
Last edited:
7thwardslim
New member
I place my vote on Tupac Fan...... some nice bars......and some good visuals....... love yal was nice too......had some decent bars..... but Tupac fan had a few bars that u couldnt deny.......
Last edited:
thedesolateone
New member
Young-Ice;1933174 said:
whycome?..
Last edited:
I like to take a moment out to shout out a few folks..
Love yal, thank u for signing up and taking on the challenge as a last minute battler.. It is intimidating when u have to go first.. Been there done that.. You had some great bars and I hope you continue to battle and grow from it as well.. A battle is a battle, no harm intent okay or nothing personal..peace!
Everybody that vote for ya girl, thanks!
I also appreciate the constructive feedback, my verse wasn't well thought out written like I usually do with my poetry.. A battle is battle and from what I understand, you spit off top, and that's exactally what I did.. Thanks again, and I sure will implement the feedback..
Peace!
Love yal, thank u for signing up and taking on the challenge as a last minute battler.. It is intimidating when u have to go first.. Been there done that.. You had some great bars and I hope you continue to battle and grow from it as well.. A battle is a battle, no harm intent okay or nothing personal..peace!
Everybody that vote for ya girl, thanks!
I also appreciate the constructive feedback, my verse wasn't well thought out written like I usually do with my poetry.. A battle is battle and from what I understand, you spit off top, and that's exactally what I did.. Thanks again, and I sure will implement the feedback..
Peace!
Last edited:
Hey whats up people thanks for letting me battle, I will to contiue to battle if anyone wants to. I'm still fresh not upset on my voting, it was fun battling with Tupacfan any rematch lol if that okay...but still sharping my verses thank you , Tupacfan verse I enjoyed, I respect everyone vote....once again thanks....
Last edited:
Sorry forget what I said, I'm trying not to be annoying , so If I lost, I'm out of tournment? When is the next Tournment? If I'm out of the tournment...Tupacfan good luck at tournment..Thanks again to Raw-Matieral for letting me enter the tournment..... godbless everyone. Love yal...lol
Last edited:
raw-material_ahh
New member
love yal;1935148 said:
Next tournament should be a couple of weeks after this one concludes. So keep in touch. Stick around and vote. Or in the meantime you can still battle in Lyrical Executions by making a call out in Got Beef with rules then if someone accepts, create the battle thread yourself in Lyrical Executions and people will vote, I'm sure. Your battle will be counted towards the 2011 Record Book I'm working on. I'm thinking of letting the top 1-3 point gainers have a bye week in the next tournament or the one after that soon as we get enough battles in here.
Last edited:
- Status
Similar threads
