Jerry "The King Lawler's greatest quotes

[Copper]

lawler got some classics this thread can go on.....

Talking about King Kong Bundy)

"He's so huge every time he turns around, Ted DiBiase throws him a welcome back party."

(Talking about Terry Funk being 53 years old)

"Did you say he's middle aged and crazy? How many 106 year old maniacs do you know?"

(When Val Venis was attacking Yamaguchi-San)

"In a minute he'll be arrested for battering shrimp."

Jim (Ross), you've been fired by him (Vince McMahon) so many times, so stop being paranoid."

"To show you how out of time Canadians are, someone has a 'Hulkamania' sign."

(Talking about Terri Runnels)

"She's been on more man hunts than the FBI."

(Talking about Debora McMichael)

"If her skirt was any shorter it would be a collar."

(After the Rock spit soda at Mankind)

"Know your role and drink your soda."

 

[Copper]

Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon."

"I know we're in Canada, that's where a dollar isn't worth a dime."

"You remember Stu and Helen; they created more tragedies than Shakespeare."

(Comment about Hawk)

"Most of his Christmas spirit has been 80 proof."

After a Shattered Dream move by Goldust)

"If Mortin Anderson could have kicked that good the Vikings would be in the Superbowl."

"The Blue Meanie from the J.O.B Squad, those guys are allergic to success."

(Talking about George "The Animal" Steele)

"I think he has an autographed copy of the Bible."

(talking about Mark Eaton)

"That guy's useless. What does he get paid for: to ring a bell?"

(After Bob Holly was hit with a Miller Lite sign in a hardcore match)

"Whoah! That wasn't lite!"

"I think one day your father took you aside and left you there."

Blue Meanie: The original reason for twin beds."

"Every time Kane does something stupid, X-Pac taught him that."

Jim Ross: "We should take the Blue Meanie to the beach with us. he could make us look slim."

Jerry Lawler: "He could sell shade."

Jim Ross: "Kane can win by pinning X-Pac, and X-Pac can win by climbing out of the cage."

Jerry Lawler: "And poor Tori, now that she's with Kane, she can't win at all."

"Most people stop eating when they get full. Rikishi stops eating when he is tired."

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend."

"Old Yeller. Is that a movie about your tooth?"

(about Stacy Keibler)

"It's Great to see her back, her front and her legs"

(About Victoria and Steven Richards)

"They're a pretty weird pair, she's pretty and he's weird"

(About Bob Holly)

"I know that he is a two sport superstar. He races cars, but what else does he do?"

 

[PanchoYoSancho]

Had to up this. Watching Raw after KOTR 98 and Sable in one of her hooker outfits was going to the announcer's table to do commentary.

JR to King "Stand up and be a gentleman."

King "I can't stand up right now"

King "Sable, I'm like milk. I'll do your body good."

 

[jono]

His rants on the Harts are epic

 

[PanchoYoSancho]

King getting ethered

King: Last time I saw Sable, I was dreaming.

JR: How'd it end?

HBK: Prematurely

 

[Idiopathic Joker]

King was the goat heel commentator. His disses to mankind used to have me weak

 

[Copper]

King was the goat heel commentator. His disses to mankind used to have me weak

King: I think the fat lady is about to sing on mick....

how big is Ms Foley?

 

[Juttythe3rd]

LAWLER: When Sunny was in school she wasn't very good in history, but she was great on dates!

(Jim Ross implies that Sunny is too young for Lawler)

LAWLER: I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

This is fucked lol

 

[PanchoYoSancho]

JR: Ken Shamrock ran away from home at age 14 living in cars. Didn't know his biological father.

King: I don't think Ken Shamrock ran away. I think his parents sent him to the store for milk and they moved while he was gone.

King: I can't figure out why peope love The Rock. Is it the people's elbow? I know what it is. Its the eyebrow.

JR: Maybe it's his athletic ability and in ring talent.

King: Nah. Its the eyebrow.

 

[Young Gunner]

King: King Mabel stands next to his car and got a ticket for double parking

 

[Chi-Town Bully]

He used to be do disrespectful to Stu and Helen Hart, I thought that hatred was real between him and Bret when I was a kid because of those comments

 

[dalyricalbandit]

He used to be do disrespectful to Stu and Helen Hart, I thought that hatred was real between him and Bret when I was a kid because of those comments

man i know Bret wanted to knock his head off afew times cause shit was real disrespectful at times lol

 

[Already Home_17]

i remember angle cracking taker in the head with a steel chair. they was right beside the announce table

JR is selling the damaged state taker is now in. king comes out of nowhere and says "kurt are you alright?"

JR was so disgusted lol

 

[white sympathizer]

That time he tried sleeping with 10 year old girls

Fucking pedophile.

 

[Broddie]

That time he tried sleeping with 10 year old girls

Fucking pedophile.

"Tried"?

 

[MillzOG]

he used to say some wild shit about booker t when he was feuding with hhh. watch their match at wm19

he said something like "yeah you know booker t. the guy whose family portrait is a courtroom sketch"

Bruh...I watched this match recently and king was on fire bruh. He was so racist in this match I was fuckin crying though can't front

 

[PanchoYoSancho]

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" after Chyna gave Ken Shamrock a lowblow and Triple H pedigreed him.

On Nicole Bass in an Evening Gown Match "I wanted to see puppies and we got the dogs."

"You know why puppies (tits) have wet noses? Cause I lick em."

lol. Just saw this on an episode of Raw

 

[KillaCham]

Posted this in the WWE Network thread:

King: Hey, if you haven't seen the movie Mission Impossible, let me save you some time. [Spoils movie]

Vince: I can't believe you're giving away the ending of the movie. What is it with you?

King: Give away the ending of the movie? I'll give away the ending of this match if you want me to.

 

[PanchoYoSancho]

"When women see Mankind naked, the first thing they say is....But your feet are so big?"

During Mae Young/Fabulous Moolah match "This is how the dinosaurs became extinct."

 

[genocidecutter]

"I may be the king, she has the double woopers"