How Would You Handle Your Mentally Ill Child

[blackrain]

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he's in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He's in a good mood most of the time. But when he's not, watch out. And it's impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district's most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can't function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, "Look, Mom, I'm really sorry. Can I have video games back today?"

"No way," I told him. "You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly."

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. "Then I'm going to kill myself," he said. "I'm going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself."

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.

"Where are you taking me?" he said, suddenly worried. "Where are we going?"

"You know where we are going," I replied.

"No! You can't do that to me! You're sending me to hell! You're sending me straight to hell!"

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. "Call the police," I said. "Hurry."

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn't escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I'm still stronger than he is, but I won't be for much longer.

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You'll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying-that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, "I hate you. And I'm going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here."

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I've heard those promises for years. I don't believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, "What are your expectations for treatment?" I wrote, "I need help."

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am Jason Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys-and their mothers-need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son's social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. "If he's back in the system, they'll create a paper trail," he said. "That's the only way you're ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you've got charges."

http://gawker.com/5968818?utm_campa..._source=gawker_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

 

[Melanin_Enriched]

Beat him until he became normal.

 

[VulcanRaven]

BS he was not mentally ill and this is just an excuse. I have some relatives who are mentally ill and they are as harmless as an infant. He was a sociopath and it is proven that mentally ill people do not plan out mass murder. If they commit a murder it is during the heat of the moment and not planned out they way he did it. It was the same for the Dark Knight movie shooter. If he was diagnosed with a mental illness then why the fuck were there guns for him to have access to?

 

[CockMcStuffins]

lol @ "social path"

 

[fuc_i_look_like]

tbh, I don't know. reading that really reminded me of myself growing up and nothing really helped me. Meds, counseling, countless psychiatrists, etc. None of that shit helped, especially the meds my parents doped me up on. If I had a kid like that, I wouldn't put him on any psychiatric medication and I wouldn't believe any bs diagnosis these doctors like to slap on ppl before I intensely research it. My parents were soooo quick to accept any and every diagnosis and put me on new meds without even researching shit, I guess it made them feel like they were doing something. That shit just made me more angry

 

[AZTG]

So this lil motherfucker pulled a knife on his mother and threatened to kill her and himself, and this was documented, but he still free? The fuck?

And man, what happened to fathers? Back in the day, let me do some wrong shit like pull a knife on my mom and my pops woulda fucked me up and beat me right.

I wish my lil son would pull a knife on his mom

 

[mohamed]

a lot of the time parents feel guilty and this allows more room for misbehavior. Strict punishment and mental help is a good foundation but a lot of these kids needs consistent support and often parents are just too busy or sadly sometimes too naive or in denial to give it to the them. its a complicated issue and each case is different but yeah mental health should get more attention

 

[Davis eyebrow]

Beat the lil faggot to death