How To Win An Oscar

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Best Actor

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It’s the highest accolade any actor can win, and here’s how you go about it.

1. Be in your 40s

The average age of a Best Actor winner is a hair under 44, so that’s the time to focus your efforts. Oh sure, you might pull off a freak early win like Adrien Brody, aged 29, who was the youngest winner ever and the only one in his 20s. Or you could mimic Henry Fonda and win in your 70s – but he was the only winner in that decade too. Basically, concentrate really hard on your career between about 36 and 54 to maximise your chances and if your name is Leonardo DiCaprio, just keep up the good work for another decade or so.

2. Play a real person

The single biggest group of winners, particularly over the last few decades, come from actors who played real people. Those may be historical figures (Sir Thomas More) but should, for preference, belong to fairly recent history (Ray Charles, Truman Capote, Idi Amin). Bonus points if the person you’re portraying had a famous public persona that was very much at odds with his private life: a hugely successful singer traumatised by a childhood loss, say. Bonus points also if he also behaved really, really badly to those around him.

3. Look into addiction, disability or mental problems

Not, you know, for realz, since these cause huge problems for their sufferers and we don’t intend to make light of that. But on screen, 10 of the last 20 winners have suffered some form of addiction, mental illness or disability (and that’s not even counting Roberto Begnini’s manic turn in Life Is Beautiful). Alcoholism is best, addiction-wise, although drug addiction is a growing trend. In terms of mental illness, psychosis works well, but OCD is acceptable. And for disability, Al Pacino played blind and Tom Hanks suffered through the latter stages of AIDS, which is pretty darn disabling, so really anything goes. But as we all know, one can take it too far: never go full retard.

4. Naff off and die

Interestingly, of the winners in the last 20 years not afflicted with some sort of illness, five died. Seven of the last 20 winners died, and the popular power of a good death scene goes back way before that. So while dying onstage is a fate not to be wished, dying onscreen is an A-OK way to win awards and influence people. Just give yourself a poignant death scene and some profound final words, eh?

5. Don’t be afraid to go dark

Eight of the last 20 winners have played bad guys or antiheroes of one sort of another. Turns out that not only does the bad guy have more fun; he wins the awards as well. If you’re a morally-ambiguous leading character, bob’s your uncle and Oscar’s your destiny. This means that the reported smear campaign against Colin Firth’s George VI and The King’s Speech may in fact have been counter-productive.

6. Be a white English-speaker

Once again, statistically it helps. That said, Best Actor has been won for a performance not in English: by Roberto Benigni for Life Is Beautiful. And Robert De Niro won Best Supporting Actor for his Italian-speaking role in The Godfather Part II, so it’s just about do-able. Still, if you’re maximising your chances, English is the way to go.

7. If Oscar gets it wrong at first, don't give up!

Many Best Actor wins get their trophy rather belatedly: John Wayne for True Grit, Henry Fonda for On Golden Pond, Jack Lemon for Save The Tiger, maybe even Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart. In most of these cases, they’d been deserving of the award 20 years before but got it as a tacit apologia and acknowledgement of their contribution. So if you’re wildly felt to have turned in a classic turn 20 years ago, give a respectable turn now and you’re sure to win the prize.

Best Actress

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What about all the single ladies? And the married ones? Well, slightly different rules apply here

1. Be An A-Lister

In the last few years, it has become a rite of passage for Hollywood’s leading ladies to win an Oscar. Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman: virtually every actress with the ability to open a film also has a lead or Supporting Oscar. It can be only a matter of time before Katherine Heigl and Cameron Diaz, the two biggest box-office names not already to have won, follow in their footsteps. In this category, the biggest name usually walks away with the prize, so build your box-office appeal first, then go serious.

2. Be under 40

The average age of a Best Actress winner is only 35 ½, almost a full decade less than the average male winner. There are many possible reasons for this – some of which we’ve previously discussed here – but it’s a definite advantage to get in there early. To enhance your chances, therefore, you need to start very strong in your teens or 20s and establish your star-power, and then turn serious by no later than about 33. Crikey – who knew the biological clock applied to winning an Oscar too?

3. REALLY don’t be in your 50s

Here’s a weird statistical blip: know how many Best Actress winners there are in their 50s? One. That’s compared to 11 Best Actor winners. When women talk about their being no roles for women at a certain age, they’re not kidding. The good news? There were 5 winners in their 60s, one in her 70s and one, Jessica Tandy, at 80. So if you miss out in your 30s, take 20 years off and give it another go; there’s bugger all point trying in the meantime.

4. Ugly up

You’re a Hollywood actress, so chances are you’re gorgeous. But if you want to win this one, think dowdy, think ugly. Eight of the last 20 winners have gone at least dowdy and at most donned a fake nose. Consider, if you will, Kate Winslet: up for Revolutionary Road and The Reader in the same year, she won for the latter – where she looked considerably worse than in the former. Basically, being plain is to actresses what being disabled is to actors. We’re pretty sure that says something not-very-nice about Hollywood’s gender attitudes.

5. Play a real person

Seven of the last 10 winners have been based on real people, so that’s (if anything) even more valuable advice for the ladies than it was for the gentlemen. Three of those are best described as leading tragic lives; the other four were either outright inspirational (Erin Brockovich, The Blind Side) or inspiringly strong characters (Walk The Line, The Queen). However, beware playing Elizabeth I: although actresses playing her have been nominated

6. Naff off and die

As with their actor colleagues, dying onscreen is a positive aid to awards success. Seven of the last 20 winners’ characters died in the course of their stories. Another – Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love – might have, or might as well have, depending on how you read that ending. Weirdly, hookers are also heavily represented among Best Actress nominees and winners. Again, let’s not reflect too closely on what this says about Hollywood.

http://www.empireonline.com/features/how-to-win-an-oscar/
 
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fortyacres&amule;2143053 said:
if you are male play a gay person or make a movie with a liberal cause

annette benning is gonna win coz of the pro gay agenda hollywood loves......

Good point, though I'm still putting my money on Natalie Portman winning it
 
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I knew Franco wouldn't get Oscar. His role was stronger, deeper and more challenging. Unfortunately the article speaks 100% truth.
 
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Be a brit..
Be white.
Be a cast member of an obscure dry movie
A semi historic themed movie wouldnt hurt either.
 
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playmaker88;2146808 said:
Be a brit..
Be white.
Be a cast member of an obscure dry movie
A semi historic themed movie wouldnt hurt either.

Its because they are better actors. They are classically trained and have to cut their teeth on real theater productions that are far more challenging than the process that North American actor goes through. The majority of NA actors get far because of their looks rather than acting talent ie; Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Shia Lebouf etc.
 
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rage;2148860 said:
Its because they are better actors. They are classically trained and have to cut their teeth on real theater productions that are far more challenging than the process that North American actor goes through. The majority of NA actors get far because of their looks rather than acting talent ie; Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Shia Lebouf etc.



NIGGA STFU Method Actors Like De Niro, Pacino, Brando. Oldman, Whitaker, Brody, Norton, Hoffman, Newman, Keitel, Duvall, Streep, Hopper, >>>> Those Dry Brit Fucks Like Olivier, Redgrave, Hopkins, Mckellan Etc....Just Because You Did Some Shakespeare At The Old Vic In London Doesnt Mean Shit...Show And Prove On The Screen Niggaz
 
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NAWLEDGE_REIGNS;2149592 said:

NIGGA STFU Method Actors Like De Niro, Pacino, Brando. Oldman, Whitaker, Brody, Norton, Hoffman, Newman, Keitel, Duvall, Streep, Hopper, >>>> Those Dry Brit Fucks Like Olivier, Redgrave, Hopkins, Mckellan Etc....Just Because You Did Some Shakespeare At The Old Vic In London Doesnt Mean Shit...Show And Prove On The Screen Niggaz

LOL...they have dumbass...check the Oscar haul. Also notice every single one of the NA actors are old school, when they had to go through the same training and process brit actors have to go through now.
 
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rage;2149656 said:
LOL...they have dumbass...check the Oscar haul. Also notice every single one of the NA actors are old school, when they had to go through the same training and process brit actors have to go through now.



They Have What? American Actors Are Far More Versatile Then Brits And Theyre Dry Sensibilities...Anthony Hopkins Plays A Variation Hannibal Lector In Every Movie While Someone Like Robert De Niro Can Do A Jake La Motta Or Travis Bickle Which Are Two Totally Different Characters
 
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NAWLEDGE_REIGNS;2149722 said:

They Have What? American Actors Are Far More Versatile Then Brits And Theyre Dry Sensibilities...Anthony Hopkins Plays A Variation Hannibal Lector In Every Movie While Someone Like Robert De Niro Can Do A Jake La Motta Or Travis Bickle Which Are Two Totally Different Characters

Just stop, Christian Bale went from the Machinist to Batman to an ex-meth head boxer from some hole in Mass. Again old school american actors are cut from the same cloth modern brit actors are. Imagine fucking Paul Walker playing Dickie Uckland....please. Chiwetel Ejiofor can go from playing a gangster in 4 Brothers to Hamlet, Idris Elba can go from street hustler to in The Wire to a corporate boss in The Office to a fucking Norse God. I'll wait till Derek Luke gets those kinds of roles.
 
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rage;2150632 said:
Just stop, Christian Bale went from the Machinist to Batman to an ex-meth head boxer from some hole in Mass. Again old school american actors are cut from the same cloth modern brit actors are. Imagine fucking Paul Walker playing Dickie Uckland....please. Chiwetel Ejiofor can go from playing a gangster in 4 Brothers to Hamlet, Idris Elba can go from street hustler to in The Wire to a corporate boss in The Office to a fucking Norse God. I'll wait till Derek Luke gets those kinds of roles.

Christian Bale Is Overrated As Fuck Anyway...Hes Been Good In Two Roles ..In American Psycho And The Machinist...His Bruce Wayne/Batman Is Laughable...And His Other Roles Arent Even Worth Mentioning...He Aint Seeing Javier Bardem, Daniel-Day Lewis, Or Even Sean Penn
 
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NAWLEDGE_REIGNS;2154306 said:
Christian Bale Is Overrated As Fuck Anyway...Hes Been Good In Two Roles ..In American Psycho And The Machinist...His Bruce Wayne/Batman Is Laughable...And His Other Roles Arent Even Worth Mentioning...He Aint Seeing Javier Bardem, Daniel-Day Lewis, Or Even Sean Penn

Dude do you even watch movies? Javier Bardem is Spanish, DDL is ENGLISH! and while yes both are better than him stop trying to discredit what Bale has accomplished. Taking out Machinist and American Psyco out of his catalogue is like taking out Raging Bull and Godfather II out of DeNiero's....dude has put in work he deserved the statue for The Fighter.
 
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rage;2154939 said:
Dude do you even watch movies? Javier Bardem is Spanish, DDL is ENGLISH! and while yes both are better than him stop trying to discredit what Bale has accomplished. Taking out Machinist and American Psyco out of his catalogue is like taking out Raging Bull and Godfather II out of DeNiero's....dude has put in work he deserved the statue for The Fighter.

Christian bale is welsh
 
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real_hh_rep;2146730 said:
I knew Franco wouldn't get Oscar. His role was stronger, deeper and more challenging. Unfortunately the article speaks 100% truth.

yea he's to young... they don't give young guys that award no matter how good of a role they play... you atleast gotta be 45 to win that shit lol
 
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