How did your mom spend your dads child support check? Was it enough?

[Shuffington]

yeah.... being stubborn to a fault can do more harm than good alot of times.

If you need help, you better ask for it. At the end of the day its not really about you.

Its just a better atmosphere when both mom and dad operate with honesty and integrity..... but of course, that can be difficult to find in a person especially if you knockn up the neighborhood jump off.
or just messing around with a chick whos primary go was to "come up" from the very beginning

 

[king hassan]

Wait, what?
I know she doesn't dare complain about anything financial? At least I know she better not.
I know she isn't that ungrateful and spoiled, can't be.
If she truly is then send her my way, I will show her what reality is. She will go back to you more grateful and appreciative than ever.

Yup, and I pay the medical bills too, and since I work at the hospital my insurance is here. She called me the other day for 15 bucks to pay for the gym fees, which I gave with no question but damn. And I buy her clothes too and I keep them @ my place. She is just angry and bitter

Damn, $650 a month? thats a car note to a nice ride. Im strappin up heavy tonite

My homeboy payin 1200 a month

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

that's how my moms was.. when i got older and my moms was struggling with work, she got laid of and was looking for another job, my pops tried helping her...and she was like

"don't worry about me... if u wanna give anyone money give it to ur son"

but me and that nigga stayed beefing, so....eh... another thread.. but yea.. my moms was one of those moms who wasnt on that court shit either...

Yup, your mummy and I both.
I never put him in the system.

I appreciate your father "trying" to help although when it comes to parenting, trying doesn't really exist. You just do.
I'm saying, it does not matter the day, time, year, situation, amount of stress, lack of money, ups and downs a parent goes through, we still have to take care of that child regardless. My point is, there ARE no excuses not to be a provider. I am not speaking about your situation, just in general.

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

Yup, and I pay the medical bills too, and since I work at the hospital my insurance is here. She called me the other day for 15 bucks to pay for the gym fees, which I gave with no question but damn. And I buy her clothes too and I keep them @ my place. She is just angry and bitter

My homeboy payin 1200 a month

So, you are not together as a couple? You are her ex/child's father and vice versa, that is it?

 

[king hassan]

@ Conscious N, nah we not together. We have'nt been in 9 years, even before the baby got here. But I've always been there, paying rent when she could'nt and she used to try her hardest to get me back in a relationship, something I did'nt want. My daughter adores me and tries to spend as much time as possible with me. I remember when we first went to court 5 years ago she flat out told the judge I never took care of my baby and sued me for back child support too. She can't even aske me a simple question without screaming, I just look at her and walk off

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

@ Conscious N, nah we not together. We have'nt been in 9 years, even before the baby got here. But I've always been there, paying rent when she could'nt and she used to try her hardest to get me back in a relationship, something I did'nt want. My daughter adores me and tries to spend as much time as possible with me. I remember when we first went to court 5 years ago she flat out told the judge I never took care of my baby and sued me for back child support too. She can't even aske me a simple question without screaming, I just look at her and walk off

As you should. As long as neither of you argue or talk down to each other in front of the child, there should be no issue.
As long as you see why she is the way she is, you know how to handle it.
I know far too well being that my child's father is identical. After I left, he was quite bitter. He starts off sweet, on a level where he tries to win you back but once he is shown that the last time was the final time and there is no possibility of there being an "us", the true colors of bitterness reveal themselves.

People need to realize that once the child arrives, priorities shift. It is no longer about US, it is about the CHILD.

 

[king hassan]

As you should. As long as neither of you argue or talk down to each other in front of the child, there should be no issue.
As long as you see why she is the way she is, you know how to handle it.
I know far too well being that my child's father is identical. After I left, he was quite bitter. He starts off sweet, on a level where he tries to win you back but once he is shown that the last time was the final time and there is no possibility of there being an "us", the true colors of bitterness reveal themselves.

People need to realize that once the child arrives, priorities shift. It is no longer about US, it is about the CHILD.

You just said a mouthfull then. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing leave me the fuck alone. She does pull that shit in front of the baby though
(I know far too well being that my child's father is identical. After I left, he was quite bitter. He starts off sweet, on a level where he tries to win you back but once he is shown that the last time was the final time and there is no possibility of there being an "us", the true colors of bitterness reveal themselves)

 

[usmarin3]

your dad still helped out though.. correct?

Naw, i never received any help from my father at all. The only time i ever asked him for anything was when our house burned down and i needed clothes, and that was 8 years since i talked to him. I was basically in a bind and homeless!

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

You just said a mouthfull then. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing leave me the fuck alone. She does pull that shit in front of the baby though
(I know far too well being that my child's father is identical. After I left, he was quite bitter. He starts off sweet, on a level where he tries to win you back but once he is shown that the last time was the final time and there is no possibility of there being an "us", the true colors of bitterness reveal themselves)

You are not only financially supporting this child, but it seems from what you have said that you offer your child other forms of support as well (mental and emotional) however I do not know the entire story.
This female does not know how blessed she is if all you explained is fact. She shouldn't have a damn thing to complain about. I do not condone violence but some parents need a swift lick upside their head one time.
It's ridiculous how there are these parents of children out here in dire need of some kind of financial support who get NOTHING from the father (or in some cases, mother) who would be thankful for half that amount. She has he nerve to lie on you in court?
She is living a fairytale inside her mind possibly. Making you out to be a "bad" father/provider takes the weight off of her chest.

In front of the child though? No, that would be selfish & inconsiderate.
Don't allow that to be pulled on you in front of that child ever again.
I am not telling you how to run your life, just a word of advice, walk away.
If possible, sit her down PRIVATELY where the child is completely out of sight and explain to her how things can go. Either there can be a civil common ground or no communication whatsoever, so long as you arrange visitations. If she cannot agree and comply with not disrespecting you in any way, shape or form in front of that child, more severe measures will have to be taken. If the private conversation cannot be had, you know what to do. Walk away but you cant allow her to put you down in front of your child.

The child has nothing to do with grown folk mess, absolutely nothing. Keep it that way.

 

[Shuffington]

Naw, i never received any help from my father at all. The only time i ever asked him for anything was when our house burned down and i needed clothes, and that was 8 years since i talked to him. I was basically in a bind and homeless!

Oh wow... thats a startling revelation

and not cool at all.

seems like you would go harder on men who peace out ... than the woman who are looking for hand-outs.

 

[king hassan]

You are not only financially supporting this child, but it seems from what you have said that you offer your child other forms of support as well (mental and emotional) however I do not know the entire story.
This female does not know how blessed she is if all you explained is fact. She shouldn't have a damn thing to complain about. I do not condone violence but some parents need a swift lick upside their head one time.
It's ridiculous how there are these parents of children out here in dire need of some kind of financial support who get NOTHING from the father (or in some cases, mother) who would be thankful for half that amount. She has he nerve to lie on you in court?
She is living a fairytale inside her mind possibly. Making you out to be a "bad" father/provider takes the weight off of her chest.

In front of the child though? No, that would be selfish & inconsiderate.
Don't allow that to be pulled on you in front of that child ever again.
I am not telling you how to run your life, just a word of advice, walk away.
If possible, sit her down PRIVATELY where the child is completely out of sight and explain to her how things can go. Either there can be a civil common ground or no communication whatsoever, so long as you arrange visitations. If she cannot agree and comply with not disrespecting you in any way, shape or form in front of that child, more severe measures will have to be taken. If the private conversation cannot be had, you know what to do. Walk away but you cant allow her to put you down in front of your child.

The child has nothing to do with grown folk mess, absolutely nothing. Keep it that way.

Me and my daughter are tighter than pantyhose 2 sizes small. I take her to lunch on the weekends, or we just lay around the crib. She calls me and asks me to pick her up and we just have a good time. That's my baby, my only child, and we just have a good time. But lawd knows I be wanting to snatch her mama's head of and shit down her throat. I remember one time when they were living out of state and they came back to Chicago for a funeral. My baby hung out with me and her moms asked me to drop her off that sat night to hang with her cousins. I took her and I told my baby i was leaving she simply said she was coming with me, her moms was pissed, she kept trying to get her to stay, she was like nah, I'm going with my daddy

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

Oh wow... thats a startling revelation

and not cool at all.

seems like you would go harder on men who peace out ... than the woman who are looking for hand-outs.

Interesting comment.

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

moms never collected child support....

............................

 

[haute]

I assume that up until we were 13 my mother used it for us

We never went without anything

When we turned 13 the payments were split so that part went to us as a weekly allowance and the rest to my mom

When we turned 16 we received the entire amount, although my father made us manage it in a way so that most went to the college fund and our portfolios

When we turned 18, the checks went directly to us, to be used as we pleased, we used it for living expenses for college until we were 21.

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

Me and my daughter are tighter than pantyhose 2 sizes small. I take her to lunch on the weekends, or we just lay around the crib. She calls me and asks me to pick her up and we just have a good time. That's my baby, my only child, and we just have a good time. But lawd knows I be wanting to snatch her mama's head of and shit down her throat. I remember one time when they were living out of state and they came back to Chicago for a funeral. My baby hung out with me and her moms asked me to drop her off that sat night to hang with her cousins. I took her and I told my baby i was leaving she simply said she was coming with me, her moms was pissed, she kept trying to get her to stay, she was like nah, I'm going with my daddy

Real nigga shit hea mayne........

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

Me and my daughter are tighter than pantyhose 2 sizes small. I take her to lunch on the weekends, or we just lay around the crib. She calls me and asks me to pick her up and we just have a good time. That's my baby, my only child, and we just have a good time. But lawd knows I be wanting to snatch her mama's head of and shit down her throat. I remember one time when they were living out of state and they came back to Chicago for a funeral. My baby hung out with me and her moms asked me to drop her off that sat night to hang with her cousins. I took her and I told my baby i was leaving she simply said she was coming with me, her moms was pissed, she kept trying to get her to stay, she was like nah, I'm going with my daddy

She is hurting her child more than she even realizes.
The fact that she tried to take her daughter from spending time with you, the even more significant fact that your daughter refused to stay and wanted to leave with you speaks depths.
How old is your daughter? Has your child's mother even called you names in front of her? Ever bad mouthed you in any way to your daughter that you are aware of?

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

I didnt need any child support

lol, child please.... Have one then get back at us.

 

[texas409]

she paid the bills and kept food in the fridge....but she never bought me extra shit had to get a job at 15

 

[Eternal Bachelor]

Damn, my baby mama getting 650 a month and still bitching. Not to mention I buy stuff for the baby too and I come pick her up as much as possible

its never enuf fam...whenever you do better in life and she hears about it...she running back to court...watch and see

 

[Conscious__Nkechi]

its never enuf fam...whenever you do better in life and she hears about it...she running back to court...watch and see

No, that is not true. It is more than enough for those who appreciate it because they aren't blindly ignorant.