For a Hip-Hop head does my bars suck?

[Dzaster31]

This was a good start for you. Like you said, you are a Hip-Hop head and this was for fun. Seems like you are just trying to see how you can manage your own wordplay. Like others have suggested, create a concept and then just work around that. Peace.

 

[HipHopisGlobalBitch]

=plcp

 

[HipHopisGlobalBitch]

I think simplicity and meaning along with flow and delivery make a good spitter

 

[HipHopisGlobalBitch]

The whole super lyricist thing is played out man.

 

[thedesolateone]

pretty good for a non-rapper

 

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[UPTOWN]

to anyone who honestly thinks "keystyling" is a logical way to get your talent recognized, please retire from rap

if you cant google, download free applications to record with, and then upload that audio to youtube or some other streaming site. you have no reason to pursue rap as an art or a business

 

[King45]

"My raps are never diabolical

But certainly phenominal'a

mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles

Knowledge is astronomical

Better cop ma module

Genre war movie historical not a comical."

I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC

Make your lines more even, not a bad attempt at rhyming.

Every line needs to be it's own statement and must convey an idea.

 

[goodhiphopnation]

those lyrics are tight, but like many of said their not saying much, now if you can flow that well and got a smooth voice then theres no reason those bars cant make for an incredible track, but those bars is only a fraction of the picture, keep chasing this pursuit though my man!!

 

[esco soprano]

"My raps are never diabolical

But certainly phenominal'a

mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles

Knowledge is astronomical

Better cop ma module

Genre war movie historical not a comical."

I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC

Nice vocabulary, but as earlier posters mentioned, you aren't saying anything. It's directionless and has no point other than a bunch of multi-syllabic words forced together. You should write something with a goal in mind rather than just rhyming words for the sake of rhymin words. That's called forcing it fam. Just my two pennies on the matter.

 

[RickyRich]

Here's something

“Where did it all go wrong”

Its tough when you’re on top, then you start your drop

Imperfections, dirty spots, big cracks in the rock, find out

You’re no longer the man on the block

Cold slap in the face, don’t look so shocked

We had it all, we had it cod locked

Look at us now, what the hell’s going on

Somebody please tell me where the fuck’d we go wrong

Behaviors contagious, no matter how outrageous

Like hating with rage, making slaves for your trade

Putting weed smokers in cages, fucking rich getting ageless

Aint there anyone out there to gauge this

Aint there anyone there that can step up to the plate

And save us

Fuck I can’t tell you how bad that I hate this

Someone please tell me what the fuck’s going on

Someone please tell me where the fuck’d we go wrong

Chorus

Don’t make any sense

We had it good for so long

Somebody please tell me what’s going on

Faith in a Nation that once was strong

Somebody please tell me where it all went wrong

Just a few years back, seemed we were on track

Eastern Europe had began to crack, then just like that

The Berlin wall came crashing down

Commies seemed to be coming around

Peace it seemed was the new kid in town

Well we can’t have that, a small scale attack

Then just like that, we’re back on track

Fuck that peace, we’ll find a new home in the Middle East

New place for fun for the fucking guns and the bombs

Find a new place for our troops to call home

Where homesick boys can write home to their Moms

Won’t matter to much if they lose their legs and their arms

Plenty more where they come from back home on the farm

Can anyone please tell me what’s going on

Somebody please, where the fuck’d we go wrong

Greed has its needs and it feeds and it feeds

Fulfills its hunger off of you and off me

Give me fucking amnesty from this Goddamn

Beast or I swear by God you’ll see someone bleed

We’ve had it, who planted this fucking seed

Somebody tell me what the hell’s going on

Somebody tell me where the fuck we went wrong

Chorus

Seems this shit just gets worse and worse and worse

Drive this whole administration to work in a hearse

They grab your dick and they jerk and they jerk

Circle of fucking jerks gone berserk

Sit behind their desks and they lurk and they lurk

Want your fucking pants your shoes and your shirt

Want you to lose what they know you deserve

Want you to choose what you know they don’t deserve

Would someone tell me what the hell’s going on

Can somebody tell me where the fuck we went wrong

You don’t pass goal, you fucking go to jail

Unless your part of this big business cartel

Can’t borrow from a friend cause he’s just like you

Government won’t take a fuckin IOU

It’ Hooray for me and fuck you too

Dumb ass should have went to business school

Today’s for me and tomorrow is too

Guess I’ll just wish you the best of luck fool

Lucks all you get and you’ll need it too

Cause it’s my job to fuck you and fuck you, fuck you

Fuck you and fuck you, fuck you and fuck you

Fuck you

RapRite 2012

ima take yo chit . thanks nkka

 

[Yaka]

I like to hear lyrics on beats to really get the feel of what your saying and its better for you to spit it cuz we can read your work but won't say it how you wrote it so might not be as tight as its suppose to be

 

[indyman87]

"My raps are never diabolical

But certainly phenominal'a

mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles

Knowledge is astronomical

Better cop ma module

Genre war movie historical not a comical."

I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC

I thought it was nice.

 

[alissowack]

I know a guy who could write some serious bars, but just couldn't spit it right when it's time to deliver.

 

[Kobiii]

All you gotta do is find your flow over a beat, how you want to attack it, then write and mouth it to the beat. If it doesn't flow, it isn't gonna sound good. Some of this could flow if you just tinkered with it a bit. Find your niche bruh.

 

[Kobiii]

@alissowack I can do both. Check it.

Terrorist Threats Remix

Ba-babylon

Had em drawn

Burned to the ground

then its shadow spawned 

never bite the flow, but, that shit was on

Seem ab-stract ideas gon’ free the pawns

Chris cox cut some snakes when he mowed the lawn

Turned around the same snakes told him move along

blatant paradigms.. snakes won’t spare a life, or think twice ‘fore they take a bite

out to conjure convicts just so they constrict their vice

the number caught or shot dependent on the jailers price

and my advice? telling you its time to splice, rise and chap’ron lies to light

stand-up-and-fight _ you gonna live on your knees or die on your feet, 

times up for copping pleas, asking please _

all they ever do in return is scoff, cough, feed trough with dirty green

sitting round with soul and smoke 30 G’s,

fell asleep, then I woke up in a crazy dream

mind still enlightened 'spite all the hazy trees

trying to find a reason for it all I see is leaves

Masked in a dense fog blowing with the breeze 

they all start falling screaming SOMEONE HELP US PLEASE

while the evergreens laugh cause they flourishing

the blind leaves scream louder KOBY HELP US PLEASE

use your mind, spread your message, you can set us free!

I spit some bars, breathed life, and then I decreed

The time was now, God give this forest peace

The fog cleared up, all the pain and strife was ceased

Old leaves fell slaves but new leaves grew free

Spoken word after verses

See it was all symbolic of the people we be

trees victims of the weather ever at its mercy

To their lives, the money, the dollars, the green, the king

ruling over their lives, making slaves out of all of our minds

The evergreen trees thrived the rest fight to survive

then Koby arrived, contrived bars on his inner Kendrick,  soul and Jesus Christ 

An everyday dog sparked a mindset that controlled the fog 

No longer could the evergreens be playing God

the ground had become equal, system without a flaw

every tree can prosper, white or brown, fat or skinny short or tall

see this is how God sees us, don’t let the devil deceive ya

money nothing but paper,

lift enlightened up and see the dollar meet its maker

You welcome. Spread the word. iii

 

[aweet77]

Honestly its boring...say it in an interesting way that doesnt sound cat in the hat

 

[Decaxavaded]

"My raps are never diabolical

But certainly phenominal'a

mess around and have ya brain comin' out ya follicles

Knowledge is astronomical

Better cop ma module

Genre war movie historical not a comical."

I'm not a rapper, just my way of introducing myself to the IC

No your lyrical intraduction is fine. It has substance and deep meaning. Some people may have not been smart enough to understand what you said, so they'll say thing's such as you can't rap or you said a allot of nothing. I assure you that was not the case. Good job.

 

[JT_HeckeN]

Something that I've learned from writing and rapping is that you can't always use whatever words you want all the time. For example you say, "Better cop ma module" which is gonna be really hard to spit especially if its got any speed to it. On the page it rhymes, but always make sure you test out the bars with your mouth first.