..."First Time" stories.

[TheNightKing]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?

Sounds like you fucked an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her pimp daddy.

You might be the dumbest nigga on the Internet.

I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 niggaz, 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.

 

[deadeye]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

So much wrong with this story.

How is the pops mean muggin you on the porch......but still lets you in the house to smash his daughter?

Then threatens you while smoking a J at the bus stop.

Why would he even allow any of that to happen?

Was there anybody else inside the house while all this was going on?

Seems like the whole attitude of that household was:

"Well, we already know she's a ho, so......might as well let her fuck in the house where we can keep an eye on her."

Pops probably sitting there like...........

"Kinda fucked up, but it makes sense to me."

Sad and hilarious on multiple levels.

^^^^^This is accurate

 

[bamnboy7]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?

Sounds like you fucked an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her pimp daddy.

You might be the dumbest nigga on the Internet.

I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 niggaz, 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.

Naw he ain't pay

The story ain't even real dumbass lil boy

 

[TheNightKing]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?

Sounds like you fucked an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her pimp daddy.

You might be the dumbest nigga on the Internet.

I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 niggaz, 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.

Naw he ain't pay

The story ain't even real dumbass lil boy

Thanks for the clarification, you bum ass fuck nigga. Since we're resorting to name calling and all.

 

[bamnboy7]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?

Sounds like you fucked an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her pimp daddy.

You might be the dumbest nigga on the Internet.

I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 niggaz, 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.

Naw he ain't pay

The story ain't even real dumbass lil boy

Thanks for the clarification, you bum ass fuck nigga. Since we're resorting to name calling and all.

You should thank me for helping you see things clearly

Take off yo fuck nigga glasses so you can see right

 

[TheNightKing]

I had just turned 13, lil bitch called me through on the first day of spring break. Hop of the bus on 79th Wabash and it's 8 niggas on the porch muggin. One of them niggas is this bitch pops giving me the look of a nigga that know his daughter bout to get fucked within the hr. I get to the bitch room and she got a half bottle of blue label and some oj sitting on the bed. Got drunk, head, and pussy for the first time that day. Crazy part was that when I finally got to give a bitch backshots I got wrapped up in the moment and poured gin all over this bitch ass. Lmao. Had the bitch whole shit on flames. I ain't even stop. Smh. Ended up smoking a j with old girl pops on the bus stop headed home. First time a nigga ever subtly threatened me over his daughter.

How old was the chick to be having bottles? Did you pay for this encounter?

Sounds like you fucked an underage prostitute who, as most prostitutes do, called her pimp daddy.

You might be the dumbest nigga on the Internet.

I know. It should have been a foregone conclusion that you paid. The context of the story made that evident. Alcohol, weed, crazy sex, etc., all while 8 niggaz, 1 of which was her "daddy", are all outside. You definitely paid.

Naw he ain't pay

The story ain't even real dumbass lil boy

Thanks for the clarification, you bum ass fuck nigga. Since we're resorting to name calling and all.

You should thank me for helping you see things clearly

Take off yo fuck nigga glasses so you can see right

 

[Mr. Insignificant]

Shit was in the 80's I been forgot about it.....maybe 90

 

[luke1733]

16 years old, she and I both virgins in the backseat of my mother's J30 T infiniti in the movie theatre parking lot after seeing some movie. CAn't even remember which movie. I remember it raining and I remember the next day my mother asking me why a condom wrapper was in her backseat window.

She and my dad then threatened to call the girl's parents and went crazy. I didn't care. Nothing could take me off my high and sense of accomplishment

 

[Tsotsi Cape Town]

Goat thread

Fuck it here we go....

18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts

So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking fuck, she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!

So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.

My bitch still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL

 

[Turfaholic]

1st time?

Sophomore year in high school. I met this white girl. She was going to my family church. Living in a foster home. Ended up popping up at my high school after being transferred to a group home. She had a lisp. Not the best looking. First girl I came across that was with it from the jump. Went into the girls bathroom at the school. Slapped on the jimmy I been holding onto for at least a year. Sat on the toilet. She straddled me and rode the shit outta me. That first bust was a beast. I just closed my eyes and held on for dear life.

 

[Dave2one6]

wow

 

[silverfoxx]

Man if you dont get this marques houston my very first time a** thread up outta here....

Lmao yoooooooooo!

 

[yahwehprofet]

First received message telepathically.......,

I knew most Dan read thoughts... But YAH! First time I RECEIVED one telepatcgically

 

[Inglewood_Fatty]

The first time we were about 18/19 and I had just got my first car a Honda Civic so I'm smashing to this Mexican chick house one night, big hoe, most of the homies already smashed plus niggas from the other side of town too so I know this gon be easy...we in front of her house fooling around in the car she gets nervous her parents might come out and see us so I drive to the park...continue what we were doing then 2 cars full of niggas pull up and 2 of the niggas know her smh anyway we leave the park then go to my house. We in my driveway she hop in the backseat and start undressing, I start sucking her titties then pulled my shit out, she gon say "I don't give head"....we arguing for a min I'm like you not that pretty for me to get instantly hard just by looking at you so you gon suck some dick today....she didn't, she started jacking me off instead, now I'm semi hard and irritated, I tell her to stop and start riding me...we going for like 40 seconds but I couldn't keep an erection so I pushed her off me, pulled my pants up while cursing her out for not sucking my dick then took her back home. I was mad she lied about not giving head the homies already told me beforehand she does so I'm like wtf lol

 

[Trillfate]

The last few of yall were 18 and never had pussy... i couldn't imagine going through senior year a virgin

 

[endboss]

Goat thread

Fuck it here we go....

18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts

So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking fuck, she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!

So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.

My bitch still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL

18? And getting hand? Not even a fucking blowjob? Thats a sad story man..

 

[Dupac]

The last few of yall were 18 and never had pussy... i couldn't imagine going through senior year a virgin

Nigga I was 20..

Freshman year in college was like a awkward comedy... I was as bumbling as dude from American pie

 

[Tsotsi Cape Town]

Goat thread

Fuck it here we go....

18, she 17 but both seniors in high school, Wednesday at high school is a self directed study day, so no classes maybe a lecture but that day was nothing. So I decide to smash at my crib, her folks hated my guts

So we driving home and she starts giving me hand (I'm thinking fuck, she want me to make it to the bed or nah?) anyways rock up to my crib and my moms is home sleeping, She finished night shift the night before!

So I creep in the house, she hears me and wakes up to check what's up, I said I'm just grabbing books I forgot, she goes back to sleep.

My bitch still outside so I take her in, we get to freaking and eventually smash. After she cleans up, I didn't take notice the towel was black?! Maaannnn my moms was doing washing later, I was running round like Ray Leotta from goodfellas tryna find that towel, she already scooped it. She ain't speak to me for like the next 2 months LOL

18? And getting hand? Not even a fucking blowjob? Thats a sad story man..

Got that shit in the crib fam, that other shit was while I was driving home

 

[emaculate]

I was home from college at the time

The ncaa championship for football on (don't remember who was playing)

Had a couple homies and female friends to chill kick it get our sip on bullshit or w/e

My ex from HS wanted to reconnect

So we did and I had seen the big lebowski so I was on the White Russian drink heavy made a couple for the peeps falling thru.

Me and home girl slide up to my room

I smashed the joint twice thought it would be on some special 1st time shit but it wasn't quite like that. It good tho to get up in it I enjoyed that shit Llz shortly after came back down stairs after what felt like 30 min apparently had been there the whole game (we didn't know tho). Went back down stairs with younging everybody got that look on they face like damn nigga

You was up there for minute so we sit down and everybody like we bout to roll I'm like where errybody going Llz they was like dawg you was up there for like 2 hours the game is over

So ever since that day they been calling me the ironman I thought that shit was funny

But the dope bop is what ol girl gave to me the day before and it was most incredible Llz but smashing the joint was str8 we fucked around for the next 6 months after that we called it quits but it was str8 when I was in it

 

[geechee slim]

I WAS TRYIN TO PUSH SOFT DICK IN HER BUT NOTHING WOULD WORK... SO AFTER A WHILE, SHE LEFT..

SOON AS THAT BEESH LEAVE, MY DICK GET ROCK HARD.. SO I JUST STARTED JACKIN OFF!

I WAS SOOO USED TO PORN AND JACKIN OFF, THAT WHEN IT WAS FINALLY TIME, I COULDNT PERFORM..

That's called P.I.E.D., Porn-Induced Erectile Disfunction and it's a real thing.