Fastest u ever got to smash

[the dukester]

Went to grab a flick from Blockbuster video one night.

Seen this bad West African joint in "chick flicks" section. Body was disproportionate in the best way. Ass looked like two basketballs sitting on two baseball bats.

Started hollering at shorty, and she asked me if I could give her a ride home. Get to conversating in the car, and she tells me she had a fantasy to bang the first guy who hollered that night.

After doing a mental birdman handrub. I took her to this short stay hotel in the hood. Joint was like a rooming house. I paid $20.00 for 3 hours. Funny thing is, when you "check in" instead of giving you a room key, they give you a washcloth & a bar of soap.

Got in room and tore that big ass up!! Took about 40 minutes from the time I met her to backstroking in them guts.

Talk about being at the right place at the right time!!

 

[intlhak]

40 minutes back in my ait days at ft lee, va in the late 90s. The only thing you needed to say to them army broads was what hotel you staying at. If they told you, it was going Dien

 

[Will Munny]

Tinder chicks, under and hour for a lot of them. I'm bored with low hanging fruit now tho.

 

[[Trillmatic]]

3 hours seems about right.

 

[JokerzWyld]

I was young and meeting a chick I was talking to on blackplanet. I met her at a Popeyes. We walked to a playground talking about regular shit. She tells me out the blue that she's horny. We start kissing and go behind a church where I hit her. The entire encounter took less than an hour. It is still one of the most random sexual experiences I've ever had.

 

[SmashinYourWaifu]

3 hours.

I worked at target and this chick came in choosing. HIt her up right after I got off. Drove to her spot and she directed me to a vacant house. We crept into the backyard and had an all Doggystyle session real quick.

Y'all niggas be trying to die smh.

Any chick that's thats throwing it at me so easy to me screams set up or something.

Nigga he works at target. Unless hes in chicago he should be good

 

[KingFreeman]

I've done it within 30 say 5-6 times. All while at work. The fastest was 5-10 mins but it was wack. Beast.

 

[konceptjones]

http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/comment/9199623#Comment_9199623

^^^ Took about 20 minutes from the time she pulled up behind me at the payphone to her gettin naked on my couch.

 

[SmashinYourWaifu]

Not sure never timed it. Somewhere between her waving my car down and me handing her cash out my wallet.

 

[yellowtapesport]

Kissing and 69 DO NOT belong in the 'fastest U smashed' thread..

Some of you niggas need to reevaluate

 

[Turfaholic]

3 hours.

I worked at target and this chick came in choosing. HIt her up right after I got off. Drove to her spot and she directed me to a vacant house. We crept into the backyard and had an all Doggystyle session real quick.

Y'all niggas be trying to die smh.

Any chick that's thats throwing it at me so easy to me screams set up or something.

Nigga he works at target. Unless hes in chicago he should be good

Nah I worked at Target. Shit was 9 years ago. A smut is always available at Target or Walmart.

 

[SolemnSauce]

69'd a Thot off POF that allowed a smash in 3 hours

 

[konceptjones]

The fastest was just under 10 minutes. Me and the crew from my Scumbag episodes (http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/comment/8221676#Comment_8221676) were up on The Hill on campus again. This time our peoples having a lil get together playin spades, tunk, bid, and some niggas got a dice game in the corner. Since their suite mates were cool as shit the party was in both rooms and they just kept the bathroom doors open unless someone was in there pissin.

Anyways...

I'm on my usual drunk-as-shit-ness 'cause I was drinking before I got there and had really been drinking all day. I kicked off the day with a bottle of some Orange Jubilee 20/20 to mix with my OJ in the dining commons for breakfast, and had basically kept a bottle of something in my hand all day long. We loud as shit, folks been coming in and out of the gig all night, everybody having a good time and somewhere around 1 or 2am these three chicks come in. One is fine as shit, the other two are her suite mates. The fine broad is cool with one of the cats that stays in the room we're in so she's off limits. The other two are about as plain as can be. One lil chick comes in and sits off in the corner, grabs a can of beer and drinks it while watching us play spades... and by watching us I mean staring at me extra creepy-like. After a few more rounds I get up and go to the next room where dudes was playing tunk. Not 5 minutes go by before I look up and she's standing in the doorway staring right at me again. I play for a while then I get up and go back to the other room to run some dice for a minute and, sure as shit, I look up and she's back staring again. I turn to my dude like "aye, you know this bitch? She fuckin up my mood with all this staring". My dude actually knew who she was, said she was always quiet whenever he came to see her roommate for a class they had together, didn't know her name but she seem aiight. I go back to shootin dice and talkin shit, and I looked up and she moved closer and is basically standing right next to me. I got the dice and start shaking 'em over my head and my fist hit her leg. I looked up and said "Damn girl, you get any closer and I'mma need a rubber", everybody laughed, she turned red as hell, and I crapped out. I stood up, took a good look at her, about a 6, high yellow, body ain't nothin to write home about, ass was barely there...

"Aye..." *look her up and down* "... you look like you can fuck, like one of them undercover freaks..."

The cats I was shootin with started laughing, and she turned even redder. She cracked a lil smile. I keep talking my shit:

"So what's up? You a freak or what?"

"I don't know. You'll find out if you come back to my room with me."

Right now the niggas I was with are on some "aaaaaaaaaaw shit, she callin you out nigga!" type shit.

"Bet, let's go then!" thinking to myself she got a lil beer in her but ain't really tryin to do shit. She grabbed my hand, and pulled me out the room with my dudes egging it on. I asked what her name was on the way to the elevator "Mallory, Koncept, my name's Mallory". I'm still drunk like "Mallory... maaaaaaaaaaaaaan hell the fuck nawl yo name ain't no Mallory.. and how you know my name already???". We get on the elevator and she said "Just shut up with your drunk ass", grabbed me and started kissing me like a crazed woman. We get down to her floor she yanks me off the elevator and drags me to her dorm room. The door barely closed when she jumped me right there in the doorway kissing all on me, pulling my clothes off, taking her shit off and everything. This shit got me like "whoa girl, slow down!" but she was like "you asked if I was a freak so what's the problem? You trying to fuck or not?". She pulled me to her bed, pushed me down on it and proceeded to blow me. We fucked for about two hours thanks to me being so drunk. Bitch was like some sort of fuckin sex demon, totally different from the quiet lil weirdo starring at me all night. She ended up being a lil fuck buddy for a while 'cause it turned out she had a boyfriend that went to U of M down the road and just wanted some dick when he wasn't around.

Time from the first time I spoke to her until I we were in her room was somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes.

 

[brocktonpatriot]

I've told a version of this story before in a different thread but I'll tell it again with more detail.

I met this one BBW girl (I like my women BBW) off of OKCupid. She wasn't really cute and she wasn't ugly either. I mainly hit her up on the strength of her having maybe the biggest titties I've ever seen. Also, she had a decent personality, had three degrees and was a pharmacist. So I decide to give it a shot.

Within four days from that first OKCupid message, we had plans for a Sunday night date. She was really eager despite it being her graduation weekend. In fact, I remember her asking me to text her a photo. I took a quick selfie with myself wearing a "Basketball is my girlfriend" t-shirt to which she said along the lines of wanting to change that.

Upon meeting her for our first date, she was a little bigger than the pictures suggested, but had dinner and had a good time. Later, even though I don't drink, we went to a bar nearby in an effort to continue the night.

Before the date started, I had decided that no matter what, I wasn't going to go to make a move or anything because with the previous two girls I dated, a move was made on the first date without me not knowing for sure how I felt about them, only coming to regret weeks later. And there's nothing worse than a girl liking you a lot more than you like them.

But because the energy of the date was so great, I went against my original plan and we had our first kiss outside of the bar. We are now sitting on a bench and I got the feeling she wanted to continue things so I ask if she wanted to come to my crib. She followed me home as I'm thinking that at most, we'll make out and I might be able to see a titty or two. When we got there, I sat on my couch and turned on the tv as she went to the restroom. When she came back, she bluntly asks "so do you eat pussy?" Clearly she had more in mind.

She climbs on top of me on the couch as she lifts her skirt and I grab her ass. Minutes later, we move to my bedroom. The titties are out at this point as she unzips my pants, pulls them down and starts giving me head.

But out of nowhere, she freaks out. She started to feel some kind of way about getting freaky on the first date. At this point, I'm no longer trying to get mine. All I want to do comfort her and let her know it's ok, but she kept pushing me away. She just wanted to lay on the bed. I'm trying to process everything while my dick is out and rock hard. So I just laid on the bed beside her and we just started talking, while we both still naked. We talked about how either of us has never done that before on a first date and to promise not judge one another for getting caught up in the moment. We also started talking random stuff too, but every once in a while, she'd look over at my dick and realize that I still hard. She'd touch it and tell me how big it is. Her horniness came back with a vengeance. She's begging to fuck, but I'm reluctant because of her early freakout and I didn't want to move too fast. I started to suck on her titties and played with his pussy, but she kept asking. This back and forth lasted about an hour until I said fuck it. First time I ever smashed on a first date.

So in a very long answer to the question, I'd say 5 hours.

 

[Brian B.]

few chicks I had my dick in within 30-45mins of meeting them

caught 1 at the mall, another at the club & the gas station a few times

if they givin off that slutty dtf vibe, Ima get str8 to the point & let it be known I'm tryna fuck

not bout to spend hours w/ chitchat lol

 

[silverfoxx]

I've told a version of this story before in a different thread but I'll tell it again with more detail.

I met this one BBW girl (I like my women BBW) off of OKCupid. She wasn't really cute and she wasn't ugly either. I mainly hit her up on the strength of her having maybe the biggest titties I've ever seen. Also, she had a decent personality, had three degrees and was a pharmacist. So I decide to give it a shot.

Within four days from that first OKCupid message, we had plans for a Sunday night date. She was really eager despite it being her graduation weekend. In fact, I remember her asking me to text her a photo. I took a quick selfie with myself wearing a "Basketball is my girlfriend" t-shirt to which she said along the lines of wanting to change that.

Upon meeting her for our first date, she was a little bigger than the pictures suggested, but had dinner and had a good time. Later, even though I don't drink, we went to a bar nearby in an effort to continue the night.

Before the date started, I had decided that no matter what, I wasn't going to go to make a move or anything because with the previous two girls I dated, a move was made on the first date without me not knowing for sure how I felt about them, only coming to regret weeks later. And there's nothing worse than a girl liking you a lot more than you like them.

But because the energy of the date was so great, I went against my original plan and we had our first kiss outside of the bar. We are now sitting on a bench and I got the feeling she wanted to continue things so I ask if she wanted to come to my crib. She followed me home as I'm thinking that at most, we'll make out and I might be able to see a titty or two. When we got there, I sat on my couch and turned on the tv as she went to the restroom. When she came back, she bluntly asks "so do you eat pussy?" Clearly she had more in mind.

She climbs on top of me on the couch as she lifts her skirt and I grab her ass. Minutes later, we move to my bedroom. The titties are out at this point as she unzips my pants, pulls them down and starts giving me head.

But out of nowhere, she freaks out. She started to feel some kind of way about getting freaky on the first date. At this point, I'm no longer trying to get mine. All I want to do comfort her and let her know it's ok, but she kept pushing me away. She just wanted to lay on the bed. I'm trying to process everything while my dick is out and rock hard. So I just laid on the bed beside her and we just started talking, while we both still makes. We talked about how either of us has never done that before on a first date and to promise not judge one another for getting caught up in the moment. We also started talking random stuff too, but every once in a while, she'd look over at my dick and realize that I still hard. She'd touch it and tell me how big it is. Her horniness came back with a vengeance. She's begging to fuck, but I'm reluctant because of her early freakout and I didn't want to move too fast. I started to suck on her titties and played with his pussy, but she kept asking. This back and forth lasted about an hour until I said fuck it. First time I ever smashed on a first date.

So in a very long answer to the question, I'd say 5 hours.

Smh this makes me feel so guilty.....

I smashed on all of my first dates.

 

[Kai]

That bitch had to be street hooker level blasted and desperate if she let t/s chunky ass hit in 3 hours.

Hell, I'm sure any bitch that lets him fuck can't be shit to write home about.

Inb4 niggas on here are so slick and got so much game that they fucked an hour before even meeting her lol

 

[SmashinYourWaifu]

Inb4 niggas on here are so slick and got so much game that they fucked an hour before even meeting her lol

Dont know why you find that hard to believe. This dick anticipated for like the second coming of christ

 

[Max.]

That bitch had to be street hooker level blasted and desperate if she let t/s chunky ass hit in 3 hours.

Hell, I'm sure any bitch that lets him fuck can't be shit to write home about.

Inb4 niggas on here are so slick and got so much game that they fucked an hour before even meeting her lol

You sound hurt...

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

8 seconds. New World Record.