Different types of "Nice Guys"..read this interesting post (a lil long)

[digitalgrl87]

No, without trying to overcompensate and put the pussy on a pedestal those laws wouldn't have been needed. Women were not crying for equality, they wanted a position of power and they got it.

Lol....again it obvious to see over the last 200 years gender roles have become a double edged sword...

women want a man who can provide for them but in return we are still paid less than our male counter parts...

men want a subservient woman yet complain when women receive preferential treatment....

some may benefit but really no one wins in the end....

 

[simplyspeaking]

the middle man is usually the "brother...best guy friend" you have

nope. the best guy friend is usually the "bad" nice guy she's talking about.

most of the "good" nice guys are like associates, we may hang every now and then.

 

[Fooley]

i'd prefer the other nice guy the author of this article wrote about.

but as always, it's either a thug or the opposite, never a middle man with you all.

=)

have you never heard of courtship? Of course if a guy likes you, he will do nice things for you. He's trying to woo you. Of course he would expect you to want him or be with him, if he didn't that would be pessimistic and he wouldn't show confidence talking to you.

 

[sdrawkcabseh]

the middle man is usually the "brother...best guy friend" you have

Yeah,typical. Have you ever noticed as well bro, that, as I was saying to Fooley, how one dimensional men are portrayed? In sitcoms, women are allowed to be smart, have a good personality, be sociable, and be romantically inclined. Men however, in these sitcoms are only allowed to be "smart" if they are portrayed as socially awkward, "nerds", or "lames" that have no personality. Just look at all of the shows right now applauding the maladaptive behavior of women: Bad Girls Club, Brdezilla, You're Cut Off, and too many others to mention.

This society has is twisted: according to a lot of women's logic, if you're a nice guy, accept being dissed by them, put up with their bullshit, then take on their baggage after you've become successful after they've only spent years being unproductive, you're a "real man". But, if you spend time/ your formative years developing yourself( like a man is supposed to do), don't settle, and refuse to put up/tolerate nonsene of any kind from women, you're not "stepping up the plate", or they say "you must hate women". A real man never settles......................................

 

[Fooley]

Lol....again it obvious to see over the last 200 years gender roles have become a double edged sword...

women want a man who can provide for them but in return we are still paid less than our male counter parts...

men want a subservient woman yet complain when women receive preferential treatment....

some may benefit but really no one wins in the end....

it's not hypocrisy if men wanted it all along. Women were the one's screaming for equality. You want equal pay as men, but you expect a man to make more than you in order for you to marry him. It's real dumb if you ask me.

 

[makaveli03]

Yeah,typical. Have you ever noticed as well bro, that, as I was saying to Fooley, how one dimensional men are portrayed? In sitcoms, women are allowed to be smart, have a good personality, be sociable, and be romantically inclined. Men however, in these sitcoms are only allowed to be "smart" if they are portrayed as socially awkward, "nerds", or "lames" that have no personality. Just look at all of the shows right now applauding the maladaptive behavior of women: Bad Girls Club, Brdezilla, You're Cut Off, and too many others to mention.

This society has is twisted: according to a lot of women's logic, if you're a nice guy, accept being dissed by them, put up with their bullshit, then take on their baggage after you've become successful after they've only spent years being unproductive, you're a "real man". But, if you spend time/ your formative years developing yourself( like a man is supposed to do), don't settle, and refuse to put up/tolerate nonsene of any kind from women, you're not "stepping up the plate", or they say "you must hate women". A real man never settles......................................

lol you read my mind man...at this point its not even about pursuing women for me..they aint the prize here no more

 

[sdrawkcabseh]

lol you read my mind man...at this point its not even about pursuing women for me..they aint the prize here no more

True, women aren't a prize, a woman, that treats you with respect and knows how to be a lady is a prize.....................................

 

[Iheart~Cali]

not gonna read, but i'm pretty sure someone got nice guy confused with push over.............once again.....

_______________^^^that^^^

 

[digitalgrl87]

it's not hypocrisy if men wanted it all along. Women were the one's screaming for equality. You want equal pay as men, but you expect a man to make more than you in order for you to marry him. It's real dumb if you ask me.

ok...your going in circles...obviously your not understanding what am saying... there's hypocrisy on both sides... men and women benefit from gender roles yet complain when these constraints don't work in their favor... its not hard to see

men want a submissive wife which suggest that men are in some way superior to women, however when the "inferior sex" receives special considerations men want to complain...

...and ok things are not the same as they were before the feminist movement....well that's because the law no longer works in the interest of men but of a once oppressed party... and that's why today the problems or inequality that gender roles create is now an issue for the male population....

 

[Fooley]

ok...your going in circles...obviously your not understanding what am saying... there's hypocrisy on both sides... men and women benefit from gender roles yet complain when these constraints don't work in their favor... its not hard to see

men want a submissive wife which suggest that men are in some way superior to women, however when the "inferior sex" receives special considerations men want to complain...

...and ok things are not the same as they were before the feminist movement....well that's because the law no longer works in the interest of men but of a once oppressed party... and that's why today the problems or inequality that gender roles create is now an issue for the male population....

yeah, it now works in favor of women. Like I said before, men wouldn't mind being gentlemanly or chivalrous if women were submissive. But women don't want to be submissive and they still expect those same privileges they once had. All I'm saying is if you have all these expectations of me(money, chivalrous, etc) then I expect you to be submissive.

 

[Fooley]

I'm sorry, but the rates at which women are moving into the workforce, getting secondary education, and increasingly moving into higher and higher positions shows that there clearly is a desire for them to earn an income. To be financially well-off. Most women do not want to be 'provided' for, they want to live a comfortable lifestyle. Do some women have the mentiatlity that their partner should have an equal or higher paycheck. Yes, but there are just as many men who feel the exact same way. So that stereotype is perpetrated by both genders. What's hypocritical about males and gender stereotypes is that they expect a woman to straddle the responsibilities of BOTH gender roles, yet for the most part refuse to take on a larger portion of the domestic responsibilities. It's not 'going along with the times', it's a strong, lasting expectation that a woman fulfill parts of the 'mans' duties as well as all of her own.

What sane, reasonable person, WANTS to hit people? Of either gender? What devoted parent WANTS to give up physical custody of their child? Those examples make little sense to me considering they have little to do with feminism, and everything to do with

a) irrational people with no self-control, or

b) the hyper-connection that a parent should have with their child. No duh, a mother is going to want and fight for custody. She spent 9 months going through hell to bring it into the world.

Those examples of catering, are few and far in between. And cannot be compared to the daily pampering that a man unconditionally expects from his spouse. Regardless of the fact that she just came back from her own 8-10 hour shift. Regardless of the fact that she may have children who then require her time and attention, regardless of the fact that she may be exhausted and stressed out.

Women aren't out in the streets protesting, because the legislation is already in place. The way to progress is by infiltrating the corporate world and being successful. Exploring those opportunities to the fullest IS the natural next step towards attaining and cementing the fight for equal opportunities.

You cannot argue that the numbers automatically indicate discrimination, without proving that 100% of those custody arrangements where contested by the father, and that the father was able to provide similar or better care for the child. Statistics without reference are worthless tbh. How can women expect chivalry when I think we can all agree that its dead? It's not expected, it's either there or not. The average woman also doesn't expect for her partner to be her bankroller, why? Because it is not feasible! We all live in a society, where unless you're extremely successful, you need two incomes in order for a family to live comfortably. Especially if you live in a major city. Women want partners more than anything. Its men who seem to have a problem re-drawing the old 'traditional' lines. While there are some tradition based expectations on both sides, you still haven't made the case that women expect far and beyond more than what men do. Or that they are on the whole less willing to fulfill the traditional duties then their male counterparts.

I mean honestly, how many men do you know who are willing to woo, court, wait until marriage for, then become the sole financial provider for their family? Both extremes have become extinct. And while there are unreasonable people of both sexes, it's unfair and illogical to sweep all women (or men for that matter) with the same brush.

I'm not even going to offer up a rebuttal because we would be debating for days. You have your opinion and I have mines, nice talking with you though.

 

[sdrawkcabseh]

yeah, it now works in favor of women. Like I said before, men wouldn't mind being gentlemanly or chivalrous if women were submissive. But women don't want to be submissive and they still expect those same privileges they once had. All I'm saying is if you have all these expectations of me(money, chivalrous, etc) then I expect you to be submissive.

Truth.............................................................

 

[Fooley]

How many women do you personally know, that actually hold to those traditional views to the point where you would be treating them in a way that's comparable to how men supposedly behaved 2 generations ago?

most women I have met or talked to expect those things of their mate.

 

[edwardnigma]

Cool article. I think trying to attract women by relying on how kind or nice you are is the wrong strategy. I find that women have been more attracted to my work ethic and social skills rather than how nice I am. Now how nice I am to them might get me some ass, but I never found women to be attracted to me because I held the door open for somebody. I find more women will come at me because they saw me talking to alot of people or they see me handling my business consistantly.

 

[Fooley]

They expect for the man to pay for everything while they're out together? Forever?

The expect you to wait until marriage?

They expect you to treat them like an invalid whose incapable of opening any door, or picking up any object that weighs more than a pound?

I mean, everyone likes consideration and respect, and it manifests differently for each gender. But really? They expect something comparable to what happened in the 50's?

You know strange girls. :S

Anyhoo, it will go back and forth.

Thanks for the decent convo :tu

Are you seriously even considering the notion that girls always waited until marriage in the 50s? Girls do expect men to bare most if not all of the financial burden on dates. I mean they might pay once or twice but the men are expected to pay. Yes they do expect chivalry, opening doors and the whole nine. I also know that women expect men to do all the hands on household chores(mowing the lawn, raking the leaves, fixing utilities, etc.). They do expect men to carry heavy objects for them as well.

deuces

 

[isayas]

I'm still gonna be a nice guy.

 

[Fooley]

Well consider how hard it is for a girl with known 'history' to get married to someone decent now. And remember that a 'history' back in the 50's and earlier was being known for not being a virgin. They probably didn't all wait until marriage, but that was the gender specific expectation.

As for the rest, Im going to put that down to regional differences. Because, the people who are in relationships around me just don't seem to play those games. Consideration (gender neutral word for chivalry), is expected from both sides. Mowing the lawn and raking leaves are pretty easy to do so long as the weather co-operates. Shoot I did them myself 90% of the time back home. The exception is carrying heavy objects, when they legitimately can't carry them themselves. But even then, they ask...

Do you know that in previous times girls used to get married at like 13 or 14 and were betrothed to men(sometimes older men)? Of course they would be virgins. I don't think even most women were virgins in the 30s to now when they got married. You may be a different type of woman, of course there are exceptions to what I previously stated, but I am making and observation about the majority of women in America.

 

[ineedpussy]

Well consider how hard it is for a girl with known 'history' to get married to someone decent now. And remember that a 'history' back in the 50's and earlier was being known for not being a virgin. They probably didn't all wait until marriage, but that was the gender specific expectation.

As for the rest, Im going to put that down to regional differences. Because, the people who are in relationships around me just don't seem to play those games. Consideration (gender neutral word for chivalry), is expected from both sides. Mowing the lawn and raking leaves are pretty easy to do so long as the weather co-operates. Shoot I did them myself 90% of the time back home. The exception is carrying heavy objects, when they legitimately can't carry them themselves. But even then, they ask...

im sorry but i live in ky and we have to mow the lawn once a week and that shit gets thick even if it aint no rain. and leaves? come on now, racking leaves in itself is a bitch and you gone holler as long as the weather co-operates? gtfohwtbs. i swear to you. you would never ever ever be able to mow my lawn(aint even that big) or rake leaves cause it excerts(sp?) a lot of energy that women just wouldnt be able to do. on a side note i seen this lady down the street using a push mower. a push mower. but she looked somali though so she understands hard work.

 

[Yung_Souf_Money]

I'm still gonna be a nice guy.

dont change for any bitch out here bruh if you have to stop being you then she doesnt deserve your attention

thats why theres so many bastard kids in this world cause the good guys arent part of their resume in life

their lost your gain

 

[isayas]

dont change for any bitch out here bruh if you have to stop being you then she doesnt deserve your attention

thats why theres so many bastard kids in this world cause the good guys arent part of their resume in life

their lost your gain

Agreed, Yung Souf.