makaveli03
New member
In early conversations: Once you’ve established something in common, you have officially entered the getting-to-know-you period of friendship. Rapport with the woman begins to build.
A nice guy will: tell her interesting things about himself, or be interested in the more unusual aspects of her personality.
'Nice Guy' will: steer the conversation towards relationships. Either hers (the better to put her in a vulnerable position) or his (the better to elicit sympathy).
On a date: Hey, we all have to go out sometime, am I right?
A nice guy will: take her home at a reasonable hour, may kiss her when they part, but will never push beyond the speed at which she is willing to go.
'Nice Guy' will: be 'so caught up' in talking to her that he 'accidentally missed the last bus'. Then will angle for an invitation to sleep on her sofa.
In a relationship: So you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Now the real challenges arise.
A nice guy will: come around to realising his feelings for her slowly. He values her and doesn't want to mess this up. He wants to know more about her tastes and habits, likes and dislikes before falling in love. Treats her the same in public as he does in private.
'Nice Guy' will: come on strong, move quickly, and throw blame at her if she gets cold feet. He'll jump straight to the L-word, often without knowing much more about her than surface qualities. Is considerably nicer to her when he knows others are watching.
Giving gifts: Whether a holiday or a birthday, ’tis better to both give and receive. Or so you might believe…
A nice guy will: give her something he has observed she likes or needs – or he will ask what she wants. Will not push for more acknowledgment for a gift, nor more in return, than she finds acceptable.
'Nice Guy' will: buy something showy whether she likes it or not. Demands profuse acknowledgment and a token equal in value to what he spent. Preferably straightaway.
When rejected: Yes, the road to true love never did run smooth. Ah well. Sometimes parting ways is best for all involved.
A nice guy will: keep any hurt feelings to himself, but probably avoid her in future. If other people know what happened and it comes up in conversation, he will change the subject.
'Nice Guy' will: get a few insults in on the way out the door, ‘I always fancied your friend Emma anyway!' Will phone everyone she knows after, to ensure his version of events is spread around first.
(Interestingly, there are many similarities between Nice Guy and another type of girl. Let us call her A Relationship Solves Everything, or ARSE for short. This is the sort of woman who, instead of having a breather between relationships to get the measure of what might have gone wrong and why, has a regular boyfriend within nanoseconds of the last one moving out. Instead of addressing her own problems, being paired off is the sole measure of her self-worth. She's interviewing you for a position, not forming a real connection. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you don't want to date someone like this because she makes you wonder if it's you she likes, or just your bank account and ability to fit into a morning suit. Well surprise surprise, women don't like men who make them wonder things like that either.)
Nice Guy is results-orientated. To his mind there is no point to being nice for its own sake. To the Nice Guy, if he has put in the time, he expects his reward. While there are a few things in life that have a guaranteed input-to-result equation, matters of the heart rarely work in this way. A fact which Nice Guy has yet to accept. As he has also failed to appreciate that being a shoulder to cry on specifically with the aim of getting something in return makes him a jerk. Not a friend.
Am I being unfair? Hell yes. Love isn't fair. My advice isn't fair. Life is, in almost every perceptible way, unfair.
But I'm speaking from experience and I tell you this: the one ex who caused the most trouble in my life... the one ex who was the worst liar and cheat I ever met... who tallied up each and every one of my faults and used them as a reason to treat me as less of a person... who was so wrapped up in his sense of entitlement to me, like I was something he owned and my acquiescence was something he was owed... who cosied up to the Daily Fail when it became clear I wasn't going to play his game any more... guess how he would describe himself?
A 'Nice Guy'.
Truth hurts, fellas, and the truth is this. Someone who willingly calls himself a Nice Guy? Isn't. And the women you actually want to get with? They are on to that. Don't blame us. Blame a culture that has made people think misrepresenting themselves is not only undetectable to potential mates, but in fact the best way to get ahead in love. Blame The Rules. Blame The Game. Blame every character ever played by Charlie Sheen. But don't blame women themselves.
Be honest, be real, and most of all, be... nice.
A nice guy will: tell her interesting things about himself, or be interested in the more unusual aspects of her personality.
'Nice Guy' will: steer the conversation towards relationships. Either hers (the better to put her in a vulnerable position) or his (the better to elicit sympathy).
On a date: Hey, we all have to go out sometime, am I right?
A nice guy will: take her home at a reasonable hour, may kiss her when they part, but will never push beyond the speed at which she is willing to go.
'Nice Guy' will: be 'so caught up' in talking to her that he 'accidentally missed the last bus'. Then will angle for an invitation to sleep on her sofa.
In a relationship: So you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Now the real challenges arise.
A nice guy will: come around to realising his feelings for her slowly. He values her and doesn't want to mess this up. He wants to know more about her tastes and habits, likes and dislikes before falling in love. Treats her the same in public as he does in private.
'Nice Guy' will: come on strong, move quickly, and throw blame at her if she gets cold feet. He'll jump straight to the L-word, often without knowing much more about her than surface qualities. Is considerably nicer to her when he knows others are watching.
Giving gifts: Whether a holiday or a birthday, ’tis better to both give and receive. Or so you might believe…
A nice guy will: give her something he has observed she likes or needs – or he will ask what she wants. Will not push for more acknowledgment for a gift, nor more in return, than she finds acceptable.
'Nice Guy' will: buy something showy whether she likes it or not. Demands profuse acknowledgment and a token equal in value to what he spent. Preferably straightaway.
When rejected: Yes, the road to true love never did run smooth. Ah well. Sometimes parting ways is best for all involved.
A nice guy will: keep any hurt feelings to himself, but probably avoid her in future. If other people know what happened and it comes up in conversation, he will change the subject.
'Nice Guy' will: get a few insults in on the way out the door, ‘I always fancied your friend Emma anyway!' Will phone everyone she knows after, to ensure his version of events is spread around first.
(Interestingly, there are many similarities between Nice Guy and another type of girl. Let us call her A Relationship Solves Everything, or ARSE for short. This is the sort of woman who, instead of having a breather between relationships to get the measure of what might have gone wrong and why, has a regular boyfriend within nanoseconds of the last one moving out. Instead of addressing her own problems, being paired off is the sole measure of her self-worth. She's interviewing you for a position, not forming a real connection. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you don't want to date someone like this because she makes you wonder if it's you she likes, or just your bank account and ability to fit into a morning suit. Well surprise surprise, women don't like men who make them wonder things like that either.)
Nice Guy is results-orientated. To his mind there is no point to being nice for its own sake. To the Nice Guy, if he has put in the time, he expects his reward. While there are a few things in life that have a guaranteed input-to-result equation, matters of the heart rarely work in this way. A fact which Nice Guy has yet to accept. As he has also failed to appreciate that being a shoulder to cry on specifically with the aim of getting something in return makes him a jerk. Not a friend.
Am I being unfair? Hell yes. Love isn't fair. My advice isn't fair. Life is, in almost every perceptible way, unfair.
But I'm speaking from experience and I tell you this: the one ex who caused the most trouble in my life... the one ex who was the worst liar and cheat I ever met... who tallied up each and every one of my faults and used them as a reason to treat me as less of a person... who was so wrapped up in his sense of entitlement to me, like I was something he owned and my acquiescence was something he was owed... who cosied up to the Daily Fail when it became clear I wasn't going to play his game any more... guess how he would describe himself?
A 'Nice Guy'.
Truth hurts, fellas, and the truth is this. Someone who willingly calls himself a Nice Guy? Isn't. And the women you actually want to get with? They are on to that. Don't blame us. Blame a culture that has made people think misrepresenting themselves is not only undetectable to potential mates, but in fact the best way to get ahead in love. Blame The Rules. Blame The Game. Blame every character ever played by Charlie Sheen. But don't blame women themselves.
Be honest, be real, and most of all, be... nice.
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