4. Yung Berg ...aka the Tailor of Failure aka the Shepard of Ls aka Grandmaster Trash aka....the Yung Berg of Rap. Son is like the aborted fetus of success itself namsayin. The nigga's music can make it rain Lugz boots from the sky b. Son's existence is like a muthafuckin pinata of failures or some shit...the nigga jus keeps losin b. When he be playin Scrabble that nigga gotta figure out how to make a word outta seven Ls. Im sayin when he has a bowl of Alphabet soup that shit is all Ls too yo. The niggas aura is shaped like a teardrop b. Im sayin son is livin proof that nature can be cruel than a muthafucka g...
3. Wale aka Olubowale Victor Akintimehin Folarin - When son brought his slave wave to the game...nobody thought he would amount to shit b. NOBODY.... And they was right. There aint one muthafucka in the industry who crowns hisself for more accomplishments that he never actually accomplished than ya boy Olubowale be doin nahmean. To be honest tho...son aint even trash like that...he jus emotionally delicate n he got the personality of a 7 year old white kid from Bel Air namsayin. If you aint never seen the nigga throw a tantrum you either dont got access to the internets or you jus dont actually kno who the fuck son is at all son. But son is mad protective over his image b. Like.. more than normal niggas usually is namsayin. This the type of dude who updates his own wikipedia page b.
Sometimes Wale be usin the Nigerian famine waltz to try n boost his sales n shpt
The Olubowale struggle is real my nigga.. Never mind that son be lookin like he was chewin on lit firecrackers. WHY this nigga always beefin wit video models n retaliatin back at muthafuckas on twitter who only got like 27 followers tho? Why this nigga gotta make a youtube video ey'time he gets his feelings hurt b? Cmon son...that emotionally fragile shit aint whats poppin at all bruh bruh.
2. Drake aka the Patron Saint of Tenderness aka the Human Glee Episode aka The Inventor of the Audio Scrunchie aka the Merchant of Cuddles otherwise known as The Wizard of Pause. When son aint travelin the world collectin magic wands n lookin for next level china patterns...you can usually find the boy doin lyrical origami on a track or out rescuin strippers from captivity nahmean. You kno you soft when you feel good bout droppin 10 Gs on a shower head that sprays lavender fragrances n shit. Word is bond...you kno you soft when chicks be showin how to do makeovers on youtube to look like you. You kno you soft when you inspire muthafuckin Zac Efron to get YOLO tatted on his creamy little hand b. You kno you soft when the furry mascots at ball games n shit be askin if they can get pictures wit YOU son. You kno you soft when you got a pink budgie, a baby owl n Aaliyah's face all tatted 5 inches apart from each other on ya back. Son I can keep goin but you should get the point by now...
Looks like we got a new #1 b....
1. Wiz Khalifa-Rose aka the final frontier of simp-dom.... This bull dyke muthafu-ka done sailed his little popsicle stick canoe over ey'single wave of simpness there is in the sucker-for-love sea nahmean. This fool is the biggest trick walkin the face of the earth rite now son. We already kno how this muthafucka went into Kanye's garbage can n scraped together a meal n thought he came up on some gourmet shit namsayin. This muthafu-ka went into Yeezy's trash n said "OH shit WHY NOBODY ATE THE REST OF THIS MEATBALL HOAGIE SON??...AYO IMMA REASSEMBLE THIS MUTHAfuckA N PUT THAT shit UP ON A PEDESTAL B. AYO IMMA PUT WHATEVER LEFT OF THIS MEATBALL HOAGIE BACK TOGETHER N IMMA SING TO IT...IMMA SING TO IT EVER ADORINGLY N IMMA TAKE PICTURES WIDDIT CUZ AINT NOBODY HAD NO MEATBALL HOAGIE LIKE THIS ONE B....I MIGHT GOT THE ONLY MEATBALL HOAGIE LEFT SON...AYO IMMA WIFE THIS HALF EATEN MEATBALL HOAGIE SON...THIS shit MINES. AYO IMMA PUT A RING ON THIS shit. CUZ THATS JUS WHAT US TRICK MUTHAfuckAS DO B...IMMA HAVE THIS MEATBALL HOAGIE FOR ALL ETERNITIES CUZ THATS JUS HOW A TRICK ROLL B. THIS MY SHNOOKUMS NAMSAYIN...THIS MY MUTHAfu-kIN SHNOOKUMS SON. WORD. I DONT KNO WHAT YOU HEEEEAAARD ABOUT ME...BUT ANY TRICK CAN GET A DOLLAR OUTTA ME...I GOTTA ACT CONCERNED SO SHE'LL SEE.. THAT IM A MUTHAfuckIN S-I-M-P....
