Official Cougar Thread

[BP OIL SPILL FACE]

Y'all already know how I roll, so I'll just sit back and watch this thread.

 

[DatNiggaB1]

When I was about 21/22 I smashed this older married chick, seen her in the west indian shop and she asked me who braided my hair as she wanted to get her kids done.......I gave her my numba and said i would hook her up.

A few days later she called out the blue asked if I could do a job for her.......she came and picked me up.......fucked me and kicked me out.......no lie.......... she controlled the whole situation and I felt like I got pimped.......she was sexy tho and I will never forget. This is the short version as I'm at work at the mo.......

 

[King Erauno]

fucked a bad ass older chick when i was 22...she was 38...light skinned..fine as hell. but too damn clingy. pussy was good

fucked a milf...had 2 kids..about 35 the same year..she was crazy though...her ex husband did some shit to her..she would fly off the handle when i turned her down. oh well..fuck her

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

<-------- Preciates them old hoes....

Word life...

 

[dj expanium]

What is the official age of a cougar?

 

[HustleThaDon]

What is the official age of a cougar?

Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are thirty or older and pursue younger men.

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are thirty or older and pursue younger men.

This guy it dead on....

 

[dj expanium]

Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are thirty or older and pursue younger men.

30 is young for a cougar. I assumed it was 40 & up.

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

30 is young for a cougar. I assumed it was 40 & up.

Agreed as well......

 

[HustleThaDon]

well young to mid 30's are consider Pumas......

 

[dj expanium]

well young to mid 30's are consider Pumas......

Start off as a "Puma", then mature as a "Cougar"....I see.

 

[bdbdbd]

i only fucked a 28 year old when i was 24, but ive noticed from my experience and what others have said older women are mad clingy for sum reason. its wierd

 

[mr. mista xxlusive]

i had an older chick earlier this year...she was 35 or 36. Im not really into married chicks with kids but I let my dick do the orchestrating this time around...smh. she was hella kool and told me wat the deal was, she just wanted to fuck and she aint mind doing other shit for me like cook and clean my crib and shit. sex was hella tight...she worked out alot and so her body was stupid tight. she had 3 kids and u couldnt tell cuz I was expecting that nasty as mushy gut mothers be havin but she aint had none of that shit....first sex encounter was funny cuz my lights got turned off that same day cuz i 4got to pay my bill. I thought she was not gonna fuck a nigga but she was still down, gave me some of that fye fye and i was beatin the breaks off her. my lights cut back on just as I was bustin a nut and I was so shocked she swallowed, sucked me babies right off me....and all i was thinkin bout was her husband and her kids she would kiss when she greeted them home (shits disgusting). She was kool but I just couldn't keep fuckin a married chick with kids

 

[death187sin]

Cougar: Hey young stuff

Me: Excuse me?

Cougar: U got a shorty

Me: Lets cut the bullshit, U want some dick or not?!

Cougar: Hell to the fuckin yeah!

Me: That shit got played out wit Eddie Murphy

Cougar: Sorry

Me: Lets go to ya place.. I'm having my carpet put in.

Cougar: OKAY

(Enters home)

Me: What's all this?

Cougar: Records

Me: Damn!! That's what they look like.

Cougar: Can U wait here while I slip into something more comfortable

Me: Cool

Me: (Looting and stealing)

Cougar: I'll be down in a minute

Me: Take ya time.. (Looting and stealing some more)

Cougar: Comes down stairs purring like a cat

Me: What have I got myself into

Cougar: What's wrong baby. Why U still limp and sneezing?

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not used to coffee colored panty hose and nylon makes me sneeze.

Cougar: Can U rub some of this on my back?

Me: Okay.. What is it.. Smells minty

Cougar: It's bengay

Me: (sarcastic) that really gets the fire going

Cougar: Can you hand me that glass of saline over there?

Me: Smells it.. WHAT THE FUCK!

Cougar: It's for my dentures. (plops them into the glass)

Me: Throws up in my mouth a lil bit

Cougar: Whats wrong baby?

Me: Nothing

Cougar: (takes bra off) U like what u see?

Me: OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR TITS?

Cougar: I had breast cancer twice. Now their mostly silicone. The surgeon had Cerebral-palsy so pardon the scars.

Me: I can't do this lady.. Here's all the stuff I stole.. How do I get out of here?! (Vomits)

Cougar: Why are U acting like this?

Me: Let me out or you gonna be using all ya Medicaid up in one visit.

Cougar: (Has a heart attack)

Me: Calls 9-1-1 and ask for the number to a cab.

Deuces old prune!

 

[Fundz O' Plenty]

lmao...... Nigga M is retarded yo.......

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

30 is young for a cougar. I assumed it was 40 & up.

30???? i was thinkin 40 & up as well. hell, @ least lowest i wud got in the 30's wud be 36.

 

[Recaptimus_Prime360]

Cougar: Hey young stuff

Me: Excuse me?

Cougar: U got a shorty

Me: Lets cut the bullshit, U want some dick or not?!

Cougar: Hell to the fuckin yeah!

Me: That shit got played out wit Eddie Murphy

Cougar: Sorry

Me: Lets go to ya place.. I'm having my carpet put in.

Cougar: OKAY

(Enters home)

Me: What's all this?

Cougar: Records

Me: Damn!! That's what they look like.

Cougar: Can U wait here while I slip into something more comfortable

Me: Cool

Me: (Looting and stealing)

Cougar: I'll be down in a minute

Me: Take ya time.. (Looting and stealing some more)

Cougar: Comes down stairs purring like a cat

Me: What have I got myself into

Cougar: What's wrong baby. Why U still limp and sneezing?

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not used to coffee colored panty hose and nylon makes me sneeze.

Cougar: Can U rub some of this on my back?

Me: Okay.. What is it.. Smells minty

Cougar: It's bengay

Me: (sarcastic) that really gets the fire going

Cougar: Can you hand me that glass of saline over there?

Me: Smells it.. WHAT THE FUCK!

Cougar: It's for my dentures. (plops them into the glass)

Me: Throws up in my mouth a lil bit

Cougar: Whats wrong baby?

Me: Nothing

Cougar: (takes bra off) U like what u see?

Me: OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR TITS?

Cougar: I had breast cancer twice. Now their mostly silicone. The surgeon had Cerebral-palsy so pardon the scars.

Me: I can't do this lady.. Here's all the stuff I stole.. How do I get out of here?! (Vomits)

Cougar: Why are U acting like this?

Me: Let me out or you gonna be using all ya Medicaid up in one visit.

Cougar: (Has a heart attack)

Me: Calls 9-1-1 and ask for the number to a cab.

Deuces old prune!

LMAO @ the bolded. nigga so disgusted, it made him give her stuff back lol

 

[dj expanium]

Say what?!?!?!

Cougar: Hey young stuff

Me: Excuse me?

Cougar: U got a shorty

Me: Lets cut the bullshit, U want some dick or not?!

Cougar: Hell to the fuckin yeah!

Me: That shit got played out wit Eddie Murphy

Cougar: Sorry

Me: Lets go to ya place.. I'm having my carpet put in.

Cougar: OKAY

(Enters home)

Me: What's all this?

Cougar: Records

Me: Damn!! That's what they look like.

Cougar: Can U wait here while I slip into something more comfortable

Me: Cool

Me: (Looting and stealing)

Cougar: I'll be down in a minute

Me: Take ya time.. (Looting and stealing some more)

Cougar: Comes down stairs purring like a cat

Me: What have I got myself into

Cougar: What's wrong baby. Why U still limp and sneezing?

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not used to coffee colored panty hose and nylon makes me sneeze.

Cougar: Can U rub some of this on my back?

Me: Okay.. What is it.. Smells minty

Cougar: It's bengay

Me: (sarcastic) that really gets the fire going

Cougar: Can you hand me that glass of saline over there?

Me: Smells it.. WHAT THE FUCK!

Cougar: It's for my dentures. (plops them into the glass)

Me: Throws up in my mouth a lil bit

Cougar: Whats wrong baby?

Me: Nothing

Cougar: (takes bra off) U like what u see?

Me: OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR TITS?

Cougar: I had breast cancer twice. Now their mostly silicone. The surgeon had Cerebral-palsy so pardon the scars.

Me: I can't do this lady.. Here's all the stuff I stole.. How do I get out of here?! (Vomits)

Cougar: Why are U acting like this?

Me: Let me out or you gonna be using all ya Medicaid up in one visit.

Cougar: (Has a heart attack)

Me: Calls 9-1-1 and ask for the number to a cab.

Deuces old prune!

working on your storytelling skills?

 

[birdcall89]

i work at a gym thats full of 30-40 year old married white women. they call me the cougar hunter for a reason.

 

[king hassan]

Cougar: Hey young stuff

Me: Excuse me?

Cougar: U got a shorty

Me: Lets cut the bullshit, U want some dick or not?!

Cougar: Hell to the fuckin yeah!

Me: That shit got played out wit Eddie Murphy

Cougar: Sorry

Me: Lets go to ya place.. I'm having my carpet put in.

Cougar: OKAY

(Enters home)

Me: What's all this?

Cougar: Records

Me: Damn!! That's what they look like.

Cougar: Can U wait here while I slip into something more comfortable

Me: Cool

Me: (Looting and stealing)

Cougar: I'll be down in a minute

Me: Take ya time.. (Looting and stealing some more)

Cougar: Comes down stairs purring like a cat

Me: What have I got myself into

Cougar: What's wrong baby. Why U still limp and sneezing?

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not used to coffee colored panty hose and nylon makes me sneeze.

Cougar: Can U rub some of this on my back?

Me: Okay.. What is it.. Smells minty

Cougar: It's bengay

Me: (sarcastic) that really gets the fire going

Cougar: Can you hand me that glass of saline over there?

Me: Smells it.. WHAT THE FUCK!

Cougar: It's for my dentures. (plops them into the glass)

Me: Throws up in my mouth a lil bit

Cougar: Whats wrong baby?

Me: Nothing

Cougar: (takes bra off) U like what u see?

Me: OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR TITS?

Cougar: I had breast cancer twice. Now their mostly silicone. The surgeon had Cerebral-palsy so pardon the scars.

Me: I can't do this lady.. Here's all the stuff I stole.. How do I get out of here?! (Vomits)

Cougar: Why are U acting like this?

Me: Let me out or you gonna be using all ya Medicaid up in one visit.

Cougar: (Has a heart attack)

Me: Calls 9-1-1 and ask for the number to a cab.

Deuces old prune!

LMMAO!!!!!!!! this nigga stupid as hell