New Book Says That If BLACK WOMEN should leave black men alone

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JadaRoss

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Marry for love'
Like Banks, Moore says, "I would tell my sister to marry for love," irrespective of race. "If that person makes you happy, you should pursue that relationship."
But the book's assumptions have come under attack by Howard University professor Ivory A. Toldson and Morehouse College professor Bryant Marks. They say they've looked at the same data -- from the census and American Community Surveys -- through a different lens, and found it less gloomy.

If the analysis is limited to blacks over age 35, the number of single women drops, they say. And in major cities such as Washington, D.C., and Atlanta, women with doctorates are more than twice as likely to be married as those with a high school degree. Finally, although black women have more degrees, that doesn't translate into high incomes: In fact, more black men than black women earn more than $75,000 a year.

"Entrepreneurial elements of America have found a variety of creative ways to benefit financially from black females' anxieties at the expense of black male egos," Toldson told the African-American online magazine the Root in a reference to Banks. "If you can show somebody that there is a really devastating problem, they'll pay more attention to you.
"He's not going to show you any evidence to the contrary because he wants his book to be found," she said.

Journalist and Middlebury College graduate Dori J. Maynard, president and CEO of the Oakland-based Robert C. Maynard Institute for Journalism Education, co-founded by her father, criticizes "a media-driven narrative -- desperate black women seeking husbands -- that flies in the face of a lot of people's realities." The widow of African-American architect Charles Grant Lewis, Maynard says, "This conversation would be a lot more helpful if we also included the experience of the 75 percent of black women who are happily married and raising children in two-parent families.

Conclusions challenged

"This picture distorts the picture of African-American women who are happy, fulfilled and living good and productive lives," Maynard says. "It is also a distortion of black men, as well -- portraying them as pathetic losers who we wouldn't want to be married to -- which has not been my experience."

Banks' solution was also challenged by African-American scholars in a "virtual symposium" held by the nonprofit and nonpartisan Council on Contemporary Families.
There, Professor Micere Keels of the University of Chicago argued that black women don't rule out nonblack partners. Rather, studies show they receive fewer advances from whites, Latinos or Asians.

"The only viable solution for black women's low likelihood of marriage is to correct society's failure to educate all our boys," she concluded.
Similarly, Kansas University professor Shirley Hill said in the same symposium that "dealing with structural issues" -- such as high unemployment and incarceration of black men -- "gets us closer to the root of the problem."

There's a reason that black women are wary of white men: white men's attitudes toward them, said symposium participant Belinda Tucker, a professor at UCLA. "Media portrayals of black women as either hypersexualized or Big Mommas continue to encourage exploitative attitudes," she said. By dating black men, women are "safe from societal rejections."

And while interracial families are a potent symbol of a society that's healing its racial divide, raising multiracial children is a challenge that Banks doesn't address, said symposium participant Jenifer Bratter of Rice University.

"Biracial children often face racial difficulties from both sides of the racial spectrum, leaving parents to help their children to make sense of these experiences," she said.

Taps into anxieties

Banks shrugs off such criticism with the confidence of an attorney used to sparring.

"There's resistance to an issue that seems fairly simple: If there are two few men in your own group, why not consider men of other groups?" he asks.
But he concedes that his suggestion taps into deep-seated anxieties that people have about race.

It's natural to fear assimilation, particularly if you're from a marginalized group, he says. And women -- of all races -- have greater concern than men about perpetuating their culture.
"Black women are the most loyal of all," he says. "But they pay a very high price."

Racial identities change, over generations. "It's fruitless to worry about it, as though you could preserve it," he continues. "It's like putting your finger in a dike. Your children will see the world differently than you or I do.

"The black experience is more varied now," he says. "Our children have grown up in an integrated Palo Alto or Orinda. They don't have the experience of living in the Jim Crow South."

For Banks, the song "Lift Every Voice and Sing" still makes his skin tingle, evoking memories of hearing the "Negro National Anthem" while growing up in an all-black Cleveland neighborhood.
But it means nothing to his sons, he observes, now students at Menlo Park's integrated Phillips Brooks School and Hillsborough's college-prep Crystal Springs Uplands School.
And when they bring home a date?

"I want them to be happy, whoever they're with," Banks says. "It's hard to make a relationship work. Compatibility now is more about class and background and experiences and aspirations and values than about race."

"I'd tell them: 'If you find someone who is purple, and it works, go for that.' "
 
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These bitches want me like a wedding ring. I told her that im married to the money, committed to the cash...Now all I see is pussy, titties, and a ass....
 
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These books only appeal to the lonely and desperate. They'll realize soon enough men are men and there's no magic color to solve all their relationship problems.
 
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Dude is not saying anything ground breaking. Just another person trying to profit off the hysteria...
 
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even more suprising is that the author is a black man himself. What a disgrace. I see sisters passing up "good" brothers all the day long and getting duped to give up the pussy to men they had no business with at all.
 
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MissLeading;3310436 said:
These books only appeal to the lonely and desperate. They'll realize soon enough men are men and there's no magic color to solve all their relationship problems.

Amen! It seems like there are more and more books, videos and etc.. Bashing the shit outta brotha's these days. It is so funny that we black folks are always looked at to have problems that nobody else has. LOL. Other races have divorces, domestic abuse and everything else but it just seems like people are quicker to point out whats going on negative in our community.
 
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I agree with the story to be honest.
Black women are the WOAT when it comes to standards and just general shit.
And the absolute worst, is how hypocritical they can be.
 
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lol this bullshit.

The problem is, other cultures often do not find the public "persona" and "stereotypes" of black women

to be appealing, thus, they are not checking for black women, no matter how beautiful they are.

think about it. the term "strong black woman" is actually a diss most times when it is used by whites.
 
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JadaRoss;3310371 said:
"Don't marry down. Marry out," says Banks

I fully co-sign this statement. I would rather marry a white woman than a black single mom/slut anything in that direction, so he is on point with that.

But I think the quality of a woman is not determined by her education, men are not employers why should they give a fuck about your 4.0 GPA when you don't have any wifey qualities?

it's a funny way to determine the spouse ability of someone. he might as well have released a book sayin black men are more in shape than black women so there is a disbalance, they should start wifin white women since they are not as often obese as black women.
 
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Co-Town Michael;3310545 said:
I agree with the story to be honest.

Black women are the WOAT when it comes to standards and just general shit.

And the absolute worst, is how hypocritical they can be.

Females are females in my humble opinion. You got white, asian, hindu and whatever females that do the same shit. Lets face it most females are gonna date or try and marry people that is on there level wether its financially, spiritually, or whatever. A good portion of people meet there mate at work because they see each other a lot and they have similar things to talk about
 
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Co-Town Michael;3310545 said:
I agree with the story to be honest.
Black women are the WOAT when it comes to standards and just general shit.
And the absolute worst, is how hypocritical they can be.

man aint that shit the truth!!!

they go for the most grimiest and most disrespectful ass niggaz,make babies with em etc,,,then bitch when she finds out he's no good then she wonder why men dont stay long in their lives

they overlook good men for years then when she's worn out wants Mr.Right
 
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bignorm73;3310667 said:
lol this bullshit.

The problem is, other cultures often do not find the public "persona" and "stereotypes" of black women
to be appealing, thus, they are not checking for black women, no matter how beautiful they are.

think about it. the term "strong black woman" is actually a diss most times when it is used by whites.

Not just white people. That term is a joke to me because it's used too much by women who have no idea what it means to be strong and who thinks that needing a man somehow makes them weak.
 
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t/s

did you ever share your story of how a black chick hurt your feelings?

I think that would prob be your best thread ever, cause that has to be an epic tale
 
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JadaRoss;3310680 said:
man aint that shit the truth!!!

they go for the most grimiest and most disrespectful ass niggaz,make babies with em etc,,,then bitch when she finds out he's no good then she wonder why men dont stay long in their lives

they overlook good men for years then when she's worn out wants Mr.Right

Thats hood rat mentality though. You got Latino and white hood rats that do the same stuff
 
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MissLeading;3310436 said:
These books only appeal to the lonely and desperate. They'll realize soon enough men are men and there's no magic color to solve all their relationship problems.

..................
 
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I agree 100%. Don't date black men. Go exclusively white. Then when they realized white men still won't put up with some of the bullshit, maybe they'll realize the problem is with them.

On another note I had this chick tell me that black men in America don't want to get married and how it's so sad that the family structure is ruined and how fucked up niggas are nowadys

a few days later she told me how if she was to get married she'd need at least a 3 carrot ring, big house, and a nanny and if a nigga was a truck driver, or any blue collar worker for that matter, she couldn't be with him.

Bitches like that are a lost cause.
 
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