LE Tournament #1 ROUND ONE - sniperk versus Jaw Breaker

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this is the first round ding ding there goes the bell

sniff sniff whats that smell? he shit his draws oh well

im about to raise hell and show this fool im not playin

have you screamin JESUS CHRIST dont waist your fuckin time preyin

i eat mc's for breakfast supper and for lunch

i eat them raw i dont cook them threw their bones i crunch

so your name is sniperk and your about to break some jaws?

you cant even break wind you aint breakin laws...PAUSE

let me gather my thoughts..fuck it this battles in the bag give me a round of aplouse

cos theres no way that you can win defeat will be your only outcome

but dont worry about it boy you win some you lose some

i see you in your display picture thats why this battle aint fair

take your loss like a man dont backtrack like your receding hair....lol

i dont play fair i'll pick you up and throw you into the air

and when you land i'll be there ready to attack like a grizzly bare

this guy is nothin but shit stuck inside my bowel..post your rhyme if u dare if not throw in the towel
 
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this is your first and last round due to my Punch-Out flow

'bout to Mike Tyson pound you like your name was Glass Joe

knock them bad British teeth straight while I BREAK ya JAWs

you fucking queef, why the fuck you wanna smell my drawers? PAUSE...

I'm half man, half thesaurus... I study diction

you're half man, half clitoris... you study dicks, son

how else can you explain that "stuck inside my bowels" reference?

I guess dicks inside your bowels is a personal preference?

I'll have you die like Lady Di and Elton John write your theme

I just crucified him like Jesus Christ, can God Save This Queen?

'cuz I'm the (Don) King, I own the crown, you can't beat Bald Bull you fuckin' hater

your pic logo thing, take it down, are you Darth Vader's masturbater?

but all jokes aside, I can't let this bitch slide... BREAK that JAW open wide

take his heart, take his soul, take his life, take his pride

Until they throw his dead body wrapped in a towel off the White Cliffs of Dover...

Another victory for Sniper K and for you its... GAME OVER

Mike_Tyson%27s_Punch-Out!!_-_NES_-_Game_Over.png
 
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numbaz...80's baby;1912582 said:
*scratches head*

where is thedesolateone, Old Fart, and ImILL? Hopefully them niggaz in this tourney. One of em would win this here easily.

"throw you into tha air/attack you like a grizzley bear"

?????????

I'm votin for nobody

*changes sig*

wtf was the point of u comin in here then if ur not going to vote....smh
 
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numbaz...80's baby;1912657 said:
i was goin vote but itz a tie. lol, i thought i was goin see a battle.

yea i can feel that but it is obviouse one person had a lil bit more better skills
 
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I think JawBreaker had the right idea but didn't put a new twist on his lines. Most of them were things we've already heard numerous times like "i eat mc's for breakfast supper and for lunch" and saying someone shit his draws isn't quite enough in a battle for him to feel the embarrassment. The line will punch more if you tell us what he shit his draws like like tie a metaphor in there somewhere. Even though sniperk fed on a lot of his lines rather than writing a verse not based off of JawBreaker's, his lines had a little more creativity but there were some that didn't have any effect to me anyway.

I like these lines:

I'm half man, half thesaurus... I study diction

you're half man, half clitoris... you study dicks, son

I'll have you die like Lady Di and Elton John write your theme

I just crucified him like Jesus Christ, can God Save This Queen?

I suggest not to feed of the other battler's verse if any of you move on because the creativity may not hold much weight. Just a suggestion.

Rhyming was about the same on both sides. I'll give metaphors, wordplay and punches to sniperk. I think JawBreaker had the right ideas and was more creative BC he was all over the place and even though JawBreaker tried to squeeze an extra line in there at the end, I don't think anyone is going to complain if I let it slide.

Vote - sniperk
 
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I'm gonna have to vote for Sniperk.. This was nearly a tie. But sniperk implemented some word play with metaphors.

Jaw breaker, he came with it too, but like raw said, some lines are redundant as far as punch lines...
 
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Jaw Breaker;1913285 said:
Good shit sniperk you got me, i need to practice thank you all for feedback.

Nice battle Jaw Breaker.

From the comments, it looks like I gotta step up my writing game up as well.

I was just playing around with my lyrics but it looks like I have to spend a bit more time on my bars if I want to make it past the next round.

Thanks people for the victory and I'll try to come with something more impressive next time.

Peace.
 
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Young-Ice;1913471 said:
why are you allowing feeding?

Since feeding is a common practice in battling inside and outside of text battling and for some reason, it SLIPPED from my head when I was creating the rules, I decided dammit, I'll let it go. It's too late to go into each thread and change the rules. I'm already having to deal with the 3-4 people who haven't checked in already and I have people who are inquiring about the next tournament or want to sign up now so I'm trying to get in contact with who hasn't signed in yet and see if they are going to check in or not, if not, I got replacements. Most likely, no feeding will be a rule in the 2nd round and so on to the championship battle.

Anyway, congrats on moving on sniperk! Let's see what you have in the second round. Be patient. It will begin shortly after round one concludes.
 
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thedesolateone;1914748 said:
how did sniperk win?i only counted two perhaps official votes

You're right. Aquaf!nafloe didn't really explain her vote. sniperk is up 2-0. First to 5 votes wins or there is a 3-0 KO. Up!
 
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the reason why i think that sniperk won is becucuase the first dude had some corny ass punchlines that half the time didnt even make any sense...i dont like rappers that come off like sniperk either however he came off as if he actually knows how to "spit" and his rhymes made actual sense....is that good enough?
 
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i just erased my critique and vote. I don't read votes before I cast mine so i didn't even realize this round was already over. Don't make sense for me to pick this apart since a winner has already been declared...and I agree with the pick.
 
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numbaz...80's baby;1912582 said:
*scratches head*

where is thedesolateone, Old Fart, and ImILL? Hopefully them niggaz in this tourney. One of em would win this here easily.

"throw you into tha air/attack you like a grizzley bear"

?????????

I'm votin for nobody

*changes sig*
what up dog. naw I'm sitting this one out and just voting. that last battled dragged on for longer than I expected and this format seems like it'll be the same. So imma chill and see who comes out on top. Then I'll be ready to battle the winner or whoever else wanna get it after winning a comp. Good look on the props tho
 
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